Tesla’s Celestial Bitcoin Fiasco: 173 Million Loss, Musk’s Musk-ery!

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Markets

What to know:

  • Tesla refused to dance with fate and kept its 11,509 BTC in the vaults, as if the desert ants of a future epoch.
  • Bitcoin slipped from its golden throne at ~$90,000 to a humble ~68,000, forcing Tesla to write off a porcelain empire worth $173 million after tax.
  • TSLA stock, in a jaw‑dropping act, limned up 4 % in after‑hours trading, beating analysts’ somnolent expectations while revenue quietly lagged behind the gossip of pundits.

In the first quarter of the year Seven‑Six, Elon Musk’s Tesla hummingly held its 11,509 BTC, as certain as a copywrite‑protected cigarette in a cross‑hatted Man’s cottage. The balance sheet posted an after‑tax impairment of $173 million-an algebraic sneeze when Bitcoin fell from ~90 k to ~68 k.

The company, in a curious theatrical flourish, outscored earnings forecasts more convincingly than a street magician’s best trick, yet the revenue ballet pirouetted slightly under the spotlight’s dim line: $22.39 billion versus the ਚ_estimations of $22.71 billion.

TSLA’s stock, as if caught in a dream, drifted 4 % higher in after‑hours trading-a neat escapade reminiscent of a bright, chalk‑washed storybook that refuses to end early.

Tesla’s Bitcoin Journey

Back in February Two‑Twenty‑One, Tesla ceremoniously purchased 43,200 BTC, a congregation of the digital faith worth about $1.5 billion, then, a month like a wandering bard, sold roughly 4,320 BTC, a curious ten percent of its hold, to taste the market’s bile.

By July Two‑Twenty‑Two, amidst the bearish winds and whispering markets, Tesla trimmed its tally to 9,720 BTC. A modest increase in January Two‑Twenty‑Five nudged the holdings back to 11,509 BTC, wherein they remain, a silent testimony to the persistence of enigmatic fortunes.

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2026-04-22 23:33