North Korea Denies Crypto Theft? Yeah, Right!

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So, North Korea is denying they’re stealing cryptocurrency. Big surprise. It’s like when your friend says they didn’t eat the last slice of pizza, but there’s cheese on their chin. Meanwhile, new data ties them to 76% of global hack losses in early 2026. But sure, let’s believe the denials.

  • TRM Labs says North Korea-linked actors stole about $577 million in crypto through April 2026, accounting for 76% of global hack losses. That’s a lot of money. I mean, what are they funding, a space program? Oh wait, they are.
  • North Korea’s Foreign Ministry dismissed the allegations as politically motivated, calling them “absurd slander.” Absurd? Stealing half a billion dollars is absurd, but denying it with a straight face? That’s just sad performance art.
  • The U.S. Treasury sanctioned six individuals and two entities tied to DPRK IT worker schemes that generated nearly $800 million in 2024. Sanctions! Because nothing says “stop hacking” like a piece of paper. That’ll show ’em.

According to TRM Labs, actors linked to North Korea stole $577 million between January and April 2026, mostly from a $292 million breach of KelpDAO and a $285 million attack on Drift Protocol. It’s like they planned a shopping spree with your crypto. Thanks, guys.

State media outlet KCNA reported that a Foreign Ministry spokesperson called the accusations “absurd slander” and a U.S. political tool. They argued that Washington, with its “world’s most advanced cyber capabilities,” shouldn’t play the victim. Right, because the U.S. is just sitting around crying. Meanwhile, North Korea will take “all necessary measures” to defend its interests. I’m sure that means more hacking practice.

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Data shows North Korea’s share of global crypto theft rose from below 10% in 2020-2021 to 64% in 2025 and 76% in early 2026. Cumulative theft exceeds $6 billion since 2017. So, they’re getting better at it. Practice makes perfect, I guess. Who needs hobbies when you have sanctions to bypass?

TRM Labs linked the KelpDAO exploit to TraderTraitor from the Lazarus Group, and the Drift Protocol attack to another subgroup. Two incidents accounted for only 3% of cases but dominated losses. It’s like a few bad apples ruining the whole orchard, but the apples are entire countries.

Earlier reports noted North Korean operations are more effective due to improved tooling and laundering methods, plus state incentives. So, they’re not just hackers; they’re savvy entrepreneurs. In a twisted, illegal way. Kudos?

A UN report said stolen digital assets fund North Korea’s nuclear and missile programs. So, your lost crypto might be helping build a bomb. Happy trading!

On March 13, the U.S. Treasury sanctioned individuals and entities tied to IT worker schemes that generated $800 million in 2024, including crypto-facilitating networks. Sanctions again! It’s like a broken record, but with more bureaucracy.

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2026-05-04 12:18