
In the sun-scorched sands of the Middle East, where oil flows like blood and power is measured in barrels, Iran, that defiant phoenix, has hatched a scheme as audacious as it is absurd. The Financial Times, that bastion of capitalist gossip, reveals that Tehran seeks to impose Bitcoin tolls on oil tankers navigating the Strait of Hormuz. Imagine, comrades, a world where the lifeblood of empires is taxed in the currency of the future! Hamid Hosseini, a mouthpiece for Iran’s petro-barons, declares that ships will have mere seconds to cough up their BTC. Seconds! As if the Lightning Network were a revolutionary’s pistol, firing transactions faster than a tsar’s decree.