Ah, behold the mighty Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, a man of unyielding resolve, who has spoken with the authority of a czar, declaring from the hallowed halls of Congress that, lo and behold, there shall be no bailout for the ever-elusive Bitcoin!
At a recent congressional gathering-more thrilling than a village fair-Congressman Brad Sherman (D-CA-32), in an act of curiosity worthy of a protagonist in a Gogolian tale, beseeched Bessent for insight. “Pray tell,” he queried, “does the Treasury have the power to rescue this leading cryptocurrency?” The question hung in the air like the scent of borscht on a chilly evening.
Sherman elaborated, humorously suggesting a scenario where banks would be commanded to buy Bitcoin, or where the coffers of U.S. tax dollars might find themselves unwittingly supporting this enigmatic digital currency. One could almost hear the collective gasp of the audience, as if they were witnessing a cat chasing its own tail.
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And yet, in a twist befitting the most absurd of plots, Bessent maintained that the U.S. continues to hold onto seized Bitcoin-a veritable treasure trove of virtual gold, albeit one that seems more like a collection of trinkets than a true reserve.
The underwhelming Bitcoin treasury reserve
When the new administration came to power in late 2024, dreams of a grand Bitcoin reserve danced in the minds of many, akin to visions of sugarplums. An executive order was signed in May, promising to establish this reserve. However, much like a poorly cooked potato, it turned out to be extremely underwhelming, involving only those cryptocurrencies seized in dubious dealings.
Last August, BTC wobbled like a drunken sailor after Bessent dismissed the idea of purchasing more during a Fox Business interview. Yet, like a reluctant dancer returning to the stage, he later clarified that the door to future purchases had not been entirely closed, merely ajar, allowing a whisper of hope to drift through.
The GOP push
In the grand theater of politics, Sen. Cynthia Lummis has reportedly urged Bessent to transform U.S. gold reserves into Bitcoin, much like an alchemist seeking to turn lead into gold. Ah, but alas, Lummis, the architect of the Bitcoin reserve bill, has announced her retirement, leaving behind a bill that proposed to fund the acquisition of 1 million Bitcoin (a trifling 5% of the total supply) without adding to the national debt. A noble endeavor, indeed, if only it were not doomed to the annals of failed legislation!
Several states-Arizona, Utah, and Pennsylvania, to name a few-have ventured forth with their own versions of the Strategic Bitcoin Reserve, like enterprising merchants setting up stalls at a market, each meeting varying degrees of success in this unpredictable bazaar.
Ruling out a CBDC
Meanwhile, the intrepid Treasury Secretary Bessent has proclaimed that the administration harbors no plans to unleash a central bank digital currency upon the world, assuming the Federal Reserve also abstains. This revelation came in response to the pro-cryptocurrency advocate Rep. Warren Davidson, who boldly labeled a CBDC as “communist money,” a remark that surely set the room abuzz like a hive of angry bees.
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2026-02-04 21:47