Elon’s Galactic Money Grab: SpaceX + xAI = ?

Oh, darling, gather your space helmets and AI manuals because the gossip mill is churning faster than a SpaceX rocket on a Tuesday! In late January 2026, Reuters (yes, the same people who tell us the sky is falling) reported that SpaceX and xAI are allegedly having a little merger chat over artisanal lattes. Apparently, it’s a share swap situation-xAI shares for SpaceX shares, with some execs getting cash instead. Because, you know, who needs stock when you can have cold, hard dollars to spend on space snacks?

Two Nevada entities were created on January 21, presumably to handle this cosmic transaction. Elon Musk, SpaceX, and xAI? Radio silence. Shocking, I know. Probably too busy deciding which planet to colonize next.

The strategic logic here is less “synergy” and more “Elon wants one giant piggy bank for his AI + space obsession.” Reuters suggests this could speed up SpaceX’s plan for space-based data centers, because apparently, orbit is the new Silicon Valley. At the World Economic Forum in Davos (where the air is thin and the egos are thinner), Musk declared, “The cheapest place to run AI will be in space. Two years, tops.” Sure, Elon, just like how we were all supposed to be on Mars by now.

But wait, there’s more! A day after the merger whispers, Starlink updated its privacy policy to allow customer data to be used for AI training unless users opt out. Because who doesn’t want their Netflix binges fueling the next Skynet? Georgetown University’s Anupam Chander summed it up perfectly: “It certainly raises my eyebrow and would make me concerned if I was a Starlink user.” Same, Anupam. Same.

As of February 2, 2026, sources say the talks are “advanced” and an announcement could be imminent. But, you know, it could also all fall apart faster than a Tinder date gone wrong. Stay tuned, darlings, because this space opera is just getting started!

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2026-02-02 23:04