Crypto Winter: It’s Colder Than Your Grandma’s Refrigerator!

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Bitwise’s CIO, Matt Hougan, has declared war on optimism with a report that reads like a eulogy for crypto’s soul. According to him, we’ve been in a bear market for over a year-despite Bitcoin hitting all-time highs, institutions throwing money like confetti, and regulators finally remembering crypto exists. Hooray for leverage!

Hougan claims the “downturn” began in January 2025, which is either a time-travel paradox or he’s just really bad at math. He compares the current crypto winter to “Leonardo DiCaprio in The Revenant”-except Leo’s survival skills are better than your HODL strategy. Excessive leverage? More like excessive lemonade, right?

Deep Bear Market Driving Crypto? 

Forget pullbacks; this is a full-bore crypto winter, baby! Hougan insists it’s 2018 meets 2022, but with more existential dread. He’s not here for your “routine dip” excuses. This is a polar vortex of panic selling, where even Morgan Stanley’s crypto team is probably Googling “how to fake a career change.”

Why are prices falling despite all the good news? Because, as Hougan explains, “positive developments” are like a warm blanket during a zombie apocalypse-ignored until it’s too late. Even the Fed chair’s Bitcoin love letters can’t melt the ice age of investor sentiment.

ETF Support Propped Up Bitcoin? 

Hougan argues ETFs and DATs have been Bitcoin’s fairy godmothers, buying 744,000 BTC like it’s Black Friday at the cryptocurrency mall. Without them, BTC would be down 60%-but who needs accuracy when you can have drama?

He predicts the winter will end not with a bang, but with investors sobbing into their NFTs, whispering, “I just wanted to buy the dips.” And if history repeats, we’ll all be wearing crypto-themed fanny packs by 2027. Stay frosty.

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2026-02-04 12:35