Cryptonews

On the fateful day of February 1st, the whale’s heavily leveraged ETH position on Hyperliquid was swept away like a sandcastle before the tide, leaving behind a loss of $250 million and a paltry $53-a sum so insignificant, it could scarcely buy a decent meal in the opulent halls of Binance. With Ethereum trading at $2,307, the collapse was not merely financial but existential, a question mark etched upon the whale’s ability to continue its reckless ballet.

As the grandees of the financial world clutch their pearls and ponder the onchain yield, Evernorth, that XRP treasury company with a name as grandiose as its ambitions, has declared its intention to embrace the XRP Lending Protocol. A protocol, mind you, that promises to be the cornerstone of its strategy-a strategy as intricate as a Victorian novel, yet as opaque as a foggy London morning.

Now here’s the plot twist: according to some fancy liquidations heatmap data (because who doesn’t love a good map?), if Bitcoin can break through that mystical $80,500 barrier, we might see a whopping $5.7 billion in short liquidations. That’s a milestone worth throwing confetti over! 🎉

Dr. Andrea Kaiser receives the card in overnight mail-so fast the postman must have been a time traveler. A few minutes later, a stealthy “random person” swoops in, snatches the card, and disappears faster than a bad punchline in a sitcom.

Behold, Forward Industries, the mighty titan of Solana hoarding, now stands teetering on the edge of a financial abyss. With over 7 million SOL tokens clutched in its trembling grasp, the company watches in horror as the value of its treasure shrivels like a nose in a Russian winter. Oh, the folly of placing all one’s rubles in a single, volatile basket!

Pi Coin (PI), once the belle of the ball, was trading at a measly $0.1450 on Sunday, just a hair above its all-time low of $0.1305. It’s fallen harder than a novice tightrope walker, shedding over 90% of its value since its glory days. Billions? Poof! Gone, like a fart in the wind.

He argues the Bitcoin downturn wasn’t a dash of fate so much as a flood-speculative, scammy schemes that siphoned coin from sturdy assets, burned the little folks, and knocked the wind clean out of the market’s sails.

In a tweet that’s hotter than a pastrami sandwich on a summer day, Cypress declared that XRP holders should keep their eyes glued to Ripple’s institutional DeFi roadmap. Native on-chain privacy? Check! Permissioned markets? Check! Institutional lending? Check! It’s like a financial Swiss Army knife, but with more pizzazz!

Previously, UNI had slipped to a four-month low of $2.8, which is just one decimal point away from a free slice of pizza if you’re in the wrong part of the world. However, as the market showed signs of recovery, UNI successfully defended $3 and reached a high of $3.5 before a mild pullback, proving that even crypto has a sense of irony.

Apparently, these funds were cozying up to a Turkish gambling ring, which sounds like the plot of a Netflix series I’d definitely binge-watch. Money laundering? More like money bored-ering-until now.