Crypto news

December’s supposed to be, you know, festive. A little “Thanksgiving rally,” they said. Instead? A flushing sound. Like everything’s just going down the drain. $160 billion gone. Poof. Just like that. 🤦‍♂️

Selon un rapport de Darkfost, la situation est particulièrement délicate pour les participants à court terme. Avec un prix réalisé de 113 692 $, la cohorte BTC 1-3 mois subit actuellement les pertes les plus importantes de tout ce cycle. Et oui, mes chers spectateurs, le drame est bien réel. 💔

Bitcoin, that capricious lover, failed to stay above the $90,000 zone and began a fresh decline. BTC dipped sharply below $88,500 and $88,000, as if the market itself were sighing in resignation. The bears, in a fit of uncharacteristic aggression, pushed the price below the $86,500 level, a nadir so profound it might as well be the bottom of a well.

Well, well, well, look who’s back in the limelight: Tether. The world’s largest stablecoin is getting the attention it loves. And the question is: Is it really as solid as its balance sheet would have us believe?

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Enter “plur_daddy,” a shadowy sage of the crypto plains, who penned a manifesto that reads like a campfire tale told by a man who’s seen the devil and knows his name. His story ain’t about one bad apple-it’s about rot in the orchard. Structural supply, fading belief, and a new kind of existential dread. You know, the kind that whispers in your ear while you’re trying to sleep. 🦄

In a plot twist worthy of a Nabokovian novel, Jordan is cracking open its crypto prohibition, much like a croissant-layered, buttery, and a little rebellious. The Jordan Securities Commission (JSC), that quietly ambitious watchdog, has declared that a comprehensive digital asset regulatory framework will be in your wallet before the confetti from 2023 hits the ground. An audacious move aimed, presumably, at transforming hesitant whispers into economic roars. 💸🐪

The Facts

According to Monday’s announcement (which was probably written by a very serious parrot), Navi will now spend his days sourcing and structuring capital markets opportunities. Because nothing says “excitement” like turning your life into a spreadsheet. 📊

Cryptorank, that lovely data wizard, revealed XRP’s month was less “moon landing” and more “moon crashing,” with the poor thing tumbling down faster than a Hollywood star’s PR reputation. Remember when everyone thought November would dance to the bullish beat of previous years? Yeah, well, that thought got knocked out cold by reality, which is basically just a really rude wake-up call.