Category: Crypto news

And just when you thought the crypto world was safe after the Bybit hack—surprise! It turns out they didn’t even go for Bybit directly. They decided to play a little game of “let’s breach SafeWallet instead.” I mean, who needs direct hits when you can just sneak in through the back door? Classic! 🙄

But wait, for Metaplanet is no ordinary buyer. They wielded options like a samurai his sword, securing BTC at a shrewd ¥13,479,404 per coin, thus maximizing their capital with the grace of a ballet dancer. This ¥10.15 billion investment is not just a drop in the bucket; it’s a pledge, a vow to conquer the Bitcoin realm with their sights set on10,000 BTC by2025 and a staggering21,000 BTC by2026. Ambitious? Perhaps. Audacious? Absolutely.

The crypto market, a swamp of endless chatter and unpredictable gyrations, lies suspended in perpetual uncertainty. Yet amidst this cacophony, the analytics prophets at Santiment dare to whisper promises of clarity to a crowd lost in speculation and folly. They present to us the holy grail—metrics to divine the bottom of this turbulent abyss. Are they saviors, or just illusionists performing to an audience too blind to see their tricks?

Okay, folks, let’s get real here. The crypto market is a hot mess right now, and Bitcoin’s price is all over the place. Like, it’s been stuck in a rut since January, and I’m starting to think it’s just trying to drive us all crazy. 🤯

But wait! Arthur Hayes, the co-founder of BitMEX and self-proclaimed crypto oracle, drops this bombshell: he thinks Bitcoin will hit $250,000 by the end of 2025. Yeah, you heard me right. Seems a bit optimistic, doesn’t it? But that’s the world we live in—dream big or go home, right?

During a speech on Sunday to an American PAC town hall in Green Bay, Wisconsin, Elon Musk crushed Dogecoin dreams faster than a Tesla accelerates. He explained there are no plans for the government to adopt the memecoin nor any cryptocurrency, while acknowledging the hype generated from his longtime allegiance with Dogecoin. 🎤💔

Fresh data collected on April 1, 2025, via hashrateindex.com, illustrates a descent in hashprice from $48.84 per PH/s on March 1 to the current $46.92. This figure encapsulates the hypothetical daily return for 1 PH/s of mining production. Despite the month’s downward trajectory, the hashprice oscillated dramatically, climbing to a peak of $54.38 in early March before eroding to a trough of $44.05 by March 10.

A certain amount of selling did ensue upon approaching the middle band, yet should the price of Bitcoin continue its accumulation behind this middle band, represented by the 20-day moving average, it might well presage a further uptrend, with the upper band at a dizzying $88,180 serving as the ultimate destination. A trifling 5% move, you say? Yet ’tis enough, I assure you, for the market to regain its former optimism. Perhaps even excessive optimism, which is a malady in itself. 🤔

Now, before you start buying DOGE with your grandma’s life savings, remember that past performance is about as reliable as a politician’s promise. But these numbers do make you wonder if history might be about to repeat itself, like a bad joke at a party you can’t escape.

Behold, the majestic downfall of PI, a cryptocurrency that was released to the public with all the fanfare of a Russian aristocrat’s ball, only to plummet by a staggering 75% since its $3 all-time high. One can only imagine the champagne toasts and caviar canapés that accompanied its peak in late February. 🥂