SEC Big Boss Paul Atkins gives a thumbs up to sneaking some crypto into your golden years – with a caveat!
U.S. regulators are tiptoeing towards cozying up on crypto rules in Congress, because nothing says “fun” like a wild west with digital money.
SEC Chair Paul Atkins, the guy with the serious face and a slightly worse haircut, now says, “Hey, maybe you can roll some crypto into your 401(k) – but only if you promise not to blow up the retirement fund.”
Atkins says, “Crypto’s in! But only if it’s dressed up in a tux and behaves.”
Crypto India reports that our favorite regulator announced, “We’re thinking about letting folks have a tiny slice of crypto pie in their retirement cake.”
He insisted it’s like a kid in a candy store – but with adult supervision and a leash. Strong safeguards, professional managers, and trustees are the new sheriff in town.
Protecting grandma and grandpa is still the main gig, he says – so no funny business or crypto fireworks on his watch.
JUST IN: 🇺🇸 SEC Boss Atkins says they are “considering letting people buy crypto with their retirement savings.”
– Crypto India (@CryptooIndia)
Many Americans are already indirectly crypto-rich through managed pension funds, so why not just make it official? It’s like extending the family picnic to include the family dog – everyone gets a bite!
He compares crypto access in retirement accounts to private equity – because what could possibly go wrong?- and reassures everyone that Warren’s worries about volatility will be carefully considered (aka, probably ignored).
Regulators Play Nice-Sort Of. Like Two Old Men Sharing a Sandwich.
During the roundtable, Atkins said, “Hey, we used to fight like cats and dogs, but now we’re holding hands – sort of.” He explained that the SEC and CFTC are finally realizing that working together might prevent chaos on Wall Street.
He added, “Maybe if we synchronize our watches, the crypto world won’t blow up on our watch.”
CFTC Head Mike Selig chimed in, “Clearer rules, fewer headaches. That’s the ticket.” Because nothing says “trust” like a well-oiled government machine.
Related: When the SEC and CFTC Get Cozy – Crypto’s Dream Team
Congress Plays the Waiting Game. Pass the Popcorn.
Back in Washington, the regulators are chatting with Congress like two old friends reminiscing about the good old days – except now it’s about rules and regulations.
Says Atkins, “We’ve been helping the Senate water down the chaos, you know, with technical input and all that jazz.” While the Senate debates the CLARITY Act, the fate of stablecoins and market rules hangs in the balance like a bad sitcom plot.
Selig quips, “We’re ready to go once Congress gives us the thumbs up – just say the word, and we’re there with our shiny badge and serious faces.”
Boozman kicks off the markup, and everyone hopes the law gets passed before the next episode of “Crypto Chaos” airs. Regulators promise to enforce whatever Congress finally decides – because compliance is the new black.
The roundtable, postponed since January, is back on, proving that government meetings are like bad sequels – they keep coming back and hope to be better than the original.
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2026-01-30 13:13