When Lena met Megan: How a DM blossomed into ‘Too Much’
This article contains some spoilers for Netflix’s “Too Much.”
Initiating contact via direct messages (DMs) with someone, regardless of your good intentions, can sometimes be nerve-wracking. Will they notice it? Is it awkward? Will they reply? However, Lena Dunham, the brain behind HBO’s “Girls,” viewed it as an opportunity for her upcoming creative project.
The story started with an enthusiastic mention (shout-out). It was the year 2022, and Dunham couldn’t hide her excitement over Megan Stalter’s appearance at the Emmys as part of the “Hacks” cast, wearing a delicate red lace slip dress. She shared a picture of this on her Instagram stories, praising Stalter as one of the most stylish women in Hollywood.
Stalter interacted, and soon enough, their conversation resulted in a message from Dunham concerning a project she wished to talk about. Unfortunately, Stalter didn’t catch the message promptly. It’s worth noting that Dunham doesn’t monitor her social media personally – she delegates this task because, as she explains, “I don’t frequent that section.
In a recent conversation, Dunham expressed, “I repeatedly asked my social media manager friend, ‘Has Meg replied? Has she said anything?’ She admitted this was the first time I asked so directly. I felt if I didn’t try, I would certainly miss out.
Now, they’re uniting in “Too Much,” marking Lena Dunham’s significant comeback to television since her show “Girls,” which she created semi-autobiographically, garnered both acclaim and controversy over a decade ago. It offered an intimate portrayal of the complex friendships, professional aspirations, and romantic misadventures of four young women in their 20s living in New York.
Instead of being a tale centered around camaraderie or intimacy, “Too Much” explores love – as conceived by Dunham. The series has loose roots in her relocation to London and subsequent marriage to musician Luis Felber, who collaborated with Dunham on its creation.


In the Netflix series “Too Much,” Megan Stalter portrays Jessica, a resident of New York City who, following a painful breakup, chooses to relocate to London, accompanied by her shaggy pet dog. (Ana Blumenkron/Netflix)
In the recently aired show, Stalter plays Jessica, a quirky yet competent producer at an advertising firm who relocates from New York to London following the demise of her seven-year relationship. Accompanying her on this journey is her small, shaggy dog. Upon arriving in England, Jessica’s idealized view of life abroad, influenced by romantic tales such as “Sense and Sensibility” set in picturesque England, initially turns out to be more disheartening than enchanting.
On her initial night, she encounters Felix (Will Sharpe), an unconventional musician with a rebellious streak who finds herself intriguing due to her fish-out-water charm. An unexpected encounter in the restroom, marked by puzzling circumstances – he escorts her home, she initiates intimacy on the couch, he discloses his involvement with someone else and departs, then she accidentally ignites herself while creating a TikTok clip – swiftly leads to a deep bond between them. This connection evolves into a swift, tender, yet complicated romance, characterized by two individuals striving to keep their personal issues from overshadowing their relationship.
The sudden rise in Stalter’s fame, due to her popular character sketches on Twitter and TikTok which landed her a role on “Hacks” as Kayla, the seemingly bumbling assistant-turned-manager who proves to be competent despite her eccentric demeanor, catches our attention. Dunham recognized her unique charm and potential as a captivating, relatable leading actress.
Television
As a child, when I would fall asleep each night, I often found myself dreaming that I was starring in an episode of ‘E! True Hollywood Story’. This is what the standout character from ‘Hacks’ shared with The Times.
Dunham mentions that he saw the program where someone was hosting a snack-making contest, which is “Snack vs. Chef” on Netflix.
“My nephew watched it by himself,” Stalter interjects with a laugh that turns wistful.
“He watched it by himself?”
Indeed, my sister mentioned that he recently watched something alone. At the tender age of 7, he’s simply extraordinary, a little marvel.
As a movie enthusiast, I sat down to watch it and was utterly captivated, thinking to myself, ‘She’s a genius!’ Her acting prowess was simply astounding – not just in the dramatic scenes, but even in her comedic performances. The key to any character-centric show is making the audience crave more of the protagonist, and I can honestly say that I was addicted to watching her. She was a muse for me as a writer and director, inspiring me to push my own creative boundaries.

Stalter and Dunham are comfortably seated on a couch at Netflix’s office in New York City, much like two friends preparing for an evening of “Love Island” after work, albeit they’re merely video conferencing into this interview. Their friendship and camaraderie quickly become apparent. Stalter admits that she is not someone who idolizes celebrities – “I often don’t even know actors’ names” – but emphatically expresses her deep admiration for Lena and the show ‘Girls’, stating that she is a die-hard fan and is still in awe of their collaboration.
“It was always going to be Meg, it was written for Meg,” Dunham says.
Stalter gives Jess an equal blend of silliness and appeal, making her a character as effortlessly supportive as Bridget Jones or Sally Albright. Whether she’s shuffling to the bathroom after intimacy or inadvertently sharing a string of TikTok videos, intended to be private, that critique her ex’s new partner, the series highlights that she is most captivating when she holds back her vulnerability.
In the middle of “Too Much,” an episode delves into Jessica’s past, revealing her heartache: It charts the ups and downs of her old romance with Zev (Michael Zegen), from the initial tender moments, through the strains, and ultimately the cruel emotional distancing. A conversation between them about their troubles — after Jessica discovers she’s pregnant — results in a heart-wrenching exchange, leading to the dissolution of their relationship. The final chapter of their union is Jessica, heartsick, undergoing an abortion.
According to Dunham, it mattered greatly to her that Jess and Felix appeared to have a history together, and this was the struggle she wanted to portray – not whether they liked each other, understood each other or were attracted to one another; rather, it’s internal issues like their own pain, trauma, and personal limitations that keep them apart. In essence, we all face similar battles, which is overcoming our past hurts and moving forward despite the difficulty.

The episode served as a platform for presenting a sincere and multi-layered depiction of abortion, according to Dunham. In this storyline, Jess struggles with her choice, not due to feelings of guilt or the belief that she’s in the wrong, but rather because she is saddened by the difficult circumstances surrounding the termination of her pregnancy. As she makes this emotional decision, it doesn’t mean that what she’s doing is incorrect.
Dunham says she considered the Jess-Zev breakup the central mystery of the show.
As a passionate film enthusiast, I found myself in a peculiar situation when Jess and Zev parted ways. I couldn’t help but keep their split under wraps, as if it were a significant plot twist from a series like ‘Lost.’ To me, their breakup seemed to hold the same level of intrigue and mystery that a character’s cherished secret might in a movie. It was just a common breakup, yet to her, it felt like her own personal ‘rosebud’ or ‘Citizen Kane’ – a deeply symbolic representation of something precious and meaningful.
Stalter appreciated the authenticity of Dunham’s portrayal, as it depicted a character in their mid-30s wrestling with the lingering wounds of a previous romance amidst newfound affection – a reality often overlooked, that love does not always provide an instant remedy for past hurts.

Awards
In my perspective, she’s either amusingly anecdotal or painfully awkward during those days. Yet, whenever I reflect on her, a tinge of embarrassment lingers. As penned by Lena Dunham about her past.
According to Stalter, being in love seems to unearth everything from your past because you’re with someone trustworthy. It’s like wondering, ‘If I told you this about myself, would you still make me feel secure? What if I shared this part of me? Would we still be safe together?’
In crafting “Too Much”, Lena Dunham drew inspiration from her personal experiences. However, she made it clear from the start that she did not wish to be the star of the show. This decision was likely due to the intense scrutiny she faced even before the premiere of “Girls” in 2012. Prior to this, Dunham’s most notable work was the 2010 independent film “Tiny Furniture.” Throughout its six-season run, “Girls”, a series that she wrote, occasionally directed, and starred as the main character in, attracted both praise and criticism, including discussions about representation, the privileged and self-centered behavior of its millennial characters, and Dunham’s frequent nudity.
After “Girls” concluded, she mostly stepped back from television. Following this, she teamed up to create HBO’s brief-lived comedy “Camping,” and directed the network’s pilot for “Industry.” Lena Dunham explains that the experience of “Girls” and the time spent away helped her gain a more distinct understanding of herself and her boundaries as she embarked on this new series in her late 30s.



As a film critic, I find myself resonating deeply with Megan Stalter’s insightful take on love. She eloquently expresses that being in love unearths everything from your past, as you’re now with someone who offers a sense of safety and security.
At one point, there was a concern that Meg’s schedule might not align, and I recall expressing, “I’m unsure if I wish to proceed with the show if that turns out to be the case.” It wasn’t a direct assertion of, “I don’t want to endure this, so it must be Meg’s fault,” but rather an independent reflection of, “I’m hesitant about going through with it.
Initially, when I was creating “Girls,” I managed to shrug off the criticisms that came my way. However, the scrutiny was unyielding, seeping into my everyday existence as well.
In a hospital recovery room, a nurse once asked me, “Why are you always stripping down on television?” she reminisced. “It’s peculiar how people seem unaware of their viewing choices. They act as if you’ve somehow taken control of their eyes and made them watch your show against their will, causing them unnecessary distress.
As a passionate admirer, I must confess that this situation stirred up a whirlwind of frustration within me – a feeling I’m not particularly fond of. Perhaps it’s my dislike for being upset that led me to bury these emotions instead. However, buried feelings have a tendency to resurface, and that’s exactly what happened. Given my ongoing health struggles, it became increasingly challenging to carry this bottled-up fury. I was forced to swallow down so much anger and resentment.
In the film “Too Much,” you won’t find an overwhelming amount of explicit content or nudity. However, there is a modest amount present. Given her beginnings in the online world where criticism can be abundant, Stalter has honed her skills at dealing with unwarranted comments about her physical appearance.
She mentions she’s relatively new to television appearances but has been a well-established online comedian for quite some time. She proudly embraces her appearance and values her intelligence and compassion deeply. When someone criticizes her weight on the internet, she dismisses it with a shrug, saying there are plenty of discussions about this topic already. If someone isn’t attracted to her, that’s alright since they aren’t dating. At almost 35 years old, she is delighted with how she feels about herself.
In this show, Stalter plays a central role that keeps it pulsating, while Dunham shines as Jessica’s sister Nora. Living with her grandmother (Rhea Perlman) and mother (Rita Wilson), Nora finds herself at a critical juncture in her life. Her husband, portrayed by Andrew Rannells, who was previously on “Girls” with Dunham, chooses to pursue his sexuality freely, leading to their separation. This breakup leaves Nora largely incapacitated, neglecting the teenage son they have together.

Nora feels both admiration and envy towards her sister, as she finds herself stuck in a situation Jessica labeled as unfortunate and pitiful, within their family setting,” Dunham notes. “Even her son seems to find it rather pitiful, while his father is hailed as the hero, despite having left. I may not be a mother, but I understand the feeling of being trapped by obligation and questioning when it’s your turn to make the right choice for yourself. Nora doesn’t have the opportunity for a new chapter in her life and must live with the one she has now. If we are fortunate enough to produce a second season, there is much potential here for exploration.
It’s uncertain just how much “Excess” we might encounter. The series concludes in a typical romantic-comedy style, as the central pair, after overcoming their obstacles, decide to marry one another. However, Dunham has additional thoughts to share.
Dunham points out that sometimes, we can’t dictate the amount of success we achieve. For instance, when creating ‘Girls,’ she envisioned a specific ending – Hannah enjoying cake on the beach following her boyfriend’s tragic accident. However, just like in life, a satisfying conclusion often leads to new beginnings with other experiences. So,…
“Twenty more seasons!” Stalter cheerily interjects.
Dunham mentions that the show will run for many seasons. She also expresses her fascination with comedies about marriage, specifically ‘Mr. Mom’ starring Michael Keaton and ‘Mad About You.’ She enjoys seeing the aspects that sustain a marriage in these shows. If given an opportunity, she would like to explore them as parents too.
“Having triplets,” Stalter adds.
“I’d love to film Meg getting a C-section for the triplets,” Dunham says.
Stalter quips: “A whole episode is the whole C-section.”
In an unexpected turn of events, “Too Much” found Lena Dunham squarely within her romantic comedy phase, but this wasn’t initially the show’s intended focus. Prior to meeting Felber, Dunham was considering drawing upon her experiences of long work stints in England and the cultural contrast between a bold American and the U.K. Then, she crossed paths with Felber, and as she puts it, “For the first time, I felt like I was living in a romantic comedy.” She had always felt immersed in a melancholic, realistic love story where the couple doesn’t end up together, and someone winds up asleep in a puddle.

As a hopeless romantic film enthusiast, I’ve always been captivated by the allure of romantic comedies, from classics like “Notting Hill,” “Pretty Woman,” and “Love Actually.” However, as time went on, I developed an unwarranted snobbery towards this genre that I once adored so dearly. But now, with my new series, “Too Much,” I’m embracing my roots and honoring the love I have for these timeless tales of love and self-discovery.
She admits she was compelled to suppress her innocent, romantic feelings. By the time she reached her twenties, she felt ashamed of being so openly romantic. It seemed immature and foolish to her, and she believed she wasn’t allowed to desire what she wanted or ask for what she truly needed.
As time passed and she reached her mid-thirties, finding herself single for a while, things eventually started shifting when she resumed dating.
When I encountered my partner, I found myself in a familiar state from my twenties, contemplating thoughts like, “Perhaps this isn’t meant for me.” Consequently, I was straightforward and blunt, which surprisingly, allowed us to connect on a deeper level. This honesty paved the way for us to understand each other better, resulting in something more romantic than any past experiences I had.
After about a month into our relationship, would it be possible for us to collaborate on a project together? Would you consider working on a show with me?
Since then, they have collaborated on various projects; she contributed to two of Felber’s music videos and he assisted in scoring her 2022 film “Sharp Stick.” Collaborating on a TV show, despite being an early commitment in their relationship, was not overwhelming. Instead, it seems it was just the right amount.
In another video conversation, he expresses his thought that if all the pieces of life align perfectly, as they did with Lena, we could create something truly remarkable. He recalls feeling a strong connection with her at the start of their relationship when he discovered their tastes complemented each other. This was Lena, he explains. At first, he didn’t comprehend her question – ‘Would you like to collaborate on a TV show with me?’ – thinking it involved him walking around a room telling jokes while she wrote them down. When she confirmed this was the gist of it, he felt confident that he could do it.
It’s not their story directly, but the show was a way for them to put their experiences together.
The foundation of what we built was rooted in love and a desire for happiness. Working together daily on set gave us unique insights into each other. Instead of asking ‘How was your day, dear?’ when coming home from work like many couples, we already knew. I believe this shared experience served as a catalyst for our relationship. Witnessing Lena direct, act, and write was truly awe-inspiring, fueling our admiration and inspiration.

Lena Dunham’s influence on the romantic comedy genre continues to unfold, as she is now in the process of creating “Good Sex,” her latest film for Netflix. This production centers around a 40-something couples therapist who decides to rejoin the dating world again: “The movie delves deeply into the question of leaving your 30s and pondering if your exploratory years have come to an end,” explains Dunham. “It’s a dilemma we often face because the 30s were considered the new 20s, but what about the 40s, particularly for those who haven’t opted or been able to become parents?
This movie features Natalie Portman, Rashida Jones, Mark Ruffalo, and ’90s romantic comedy icon Meg Ryan. Unlike some castings, Meg Ryan’s involvement in this film didn’t stem from Instagram; Lena Dunham actually met with Ryan during Taylor Swift’s concert stop in London to discuss the role.
In a subsequent email, Dunham expressed that she often keeps icons at arm’s length, but Nora Ephron significantly impacted both her and the recipient. Hence, she felt compelled to discuss Nora, as recalling her brings joy. She explained that this conversation blossomed into a leisurely, non-work lunch and a budding friendship. Additionally, she wrote with the recipient in mind. Yet, even though she was taken aback when the recipient agreed, she was equally honored. Witnessing the recipient read at the table, along with Natalie and Rashida, left us all awestruck. Subsequently, we exchanged messages expressing our disbelief: “Meg Ryan!” I can’t help it — even though I’m sober now, I remain enamored with Megs.
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