Metaplanet Gets Its First Big Break From Research Firm, and It’s About Time!

Storm Research, a boutique equities research shop (with a name that sounds like it’s about to blow through your stock portfolio), has been around since 2009, specializing in small to mid-cap Japanese stocks. You know, the ones no one really talks about until they go from zero to 3,600% like Metaplanet. According to Storm’s LinkedIn page, Japan’s economy is home to “hundreds of listed companies with little to no analyst coverage.” Clearly, Metaplanet was just waiting for its moment to shine. ✨

Ethereum Whales Dump ETH: Is the Crypto Party Over? 🐋💸

One old-timer, a veteran Ethereum investor, decided it was time to cash in. They sold a whopping 10,702 ETH, worth $16.86 million, at $1,576 per token. Blockchain sleuths reveal this whale bought their stash back in 2016 when ETH was a mere $8. Talk about a glow-up! 🤑 Interestingly, most of these whales held onto their ETH when it was above $4,000 last December. But now, they’re selling like it’s Black Friday. Even Donald Trump’s DeFi project, World Liberty Financial, joined the panic sell-off. Because why not?

Dark Web Trickery: You Won’t Believe the FBI’s Devious Ruse!

Enter Monsieur Murarka, a virtuoso of crypto enchantments, whose bewitching ways allegedly moved millions before a fateful medical sojourn led him straight into the arms of justice. With full reign of his magical contraptions, our heroes watched his every transaction and sweet-talked several of his stout cash mules into singing like birds. 🦜

Why Ethereum is Plummeting Faster Than a Chocolate Bar in a Room Full of Kids

Data reveals that Ether’s price has dipped below its realized price—a fancy term for the average price at which all ETH coins last moved on the blockchain. According to CryptoQuant’s resident crypto whisperer, theKriptolik, this is historically a bearish signal. When the realized price is above the spot price, it’s like a giant “KEEP OUT” sign for investors, leaving most holders suddenly drowning in a sea of red ink.

You Won’t Believe Magic Eden’s Shocking New Move Beyond NFTs!

Magic Eden Acquisition

According to a tweet on April 9th (you know, the kind of announcement that only the modern world can appreciate), Magic Eden boasted that they now support more than 8 million tokens across virtually every blockchain out there. A monumental claim, really. It’s like a magician pulling rabbits out of a hat, except these rabbits are… digital currencies? Tokens? You get the point.

Yuan’s Dramatic Plunge: Is China’s Currency Having a Meltdown or Just a Bad Hair Day?

Meanwhile, across the Pacific, the U.S. is throwing hefty tariffs at Chinese goods like confetti at a wedding, with President Trump cranking up the pressure on imports. “The US and China are currently in a power play game of brinkmanship,” says Chris Turner, ING’s global head of markets. Sounds like a thrilling episode of “As the Currency Turns,” doesn’t it? Until they sort out their differences or schedule a major meeting (which, let’s be honest, is probably just an excuse for a buffet), the USD/CNY exchange rate will be the star of the show. 🎭