The Crypto Calamity: $14.21B Options Expiry Looms Large

Today, the cryptocurrency world is holding its breath as $14.21 billion worth of Bitcoin (BTC) and Ethereum (ETH) options are set to expire. 🤯 It’s like the whole market is waiting for a giant game of musical chairs, and we’re all wondering who will be left standing. 🎶

Renée Zellweger joins season 5 of Only Murders in the Building

According to the official social media posts, the actress from Bridget Jones has been added to the cast that already includes Christoph Waltz and Keegan-Michael Key for the upcoming instalment of Hulu’s comedy-mystery series. This show follows a team of podcasters and amateur detectives.

EU Regulators Push for Stricter Capital Rules on Insurers’ Crypto Holdings

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In a report submitted to the European Commission, EIOPA presented several options for regulating insurers’ crypto exposure. The most aggressive approach, which they strongly support, would require firms to assume that crypto investments could lose their entire value. Ah, the classic “we’re all going to die” approach. Unlike traditional assets, which have far lower capital requirements, cryptocurrencies would face a full 100% capital charge under this framework. Because, why not? It’s not like we’ve learned anything from the past.

Galaxy Digital’s $200M Settlement: A Comedy of Errors in Crypto

Let us not forget the tragic tale of Terra’s LUNA token, which, in a spectacular display of financial acrobatics, plummeted to a staggering loss of $40 billion. And now, in a twist worthy of the finest melodrama, Galaxy Digital finds itself forking over $200 million to settle its misadventures with the NYAG. Bravo! 👏