You’ll Never Guess What Your Bank Account Can Do Now: Bunq Adds Crypto With a Side of Sass!

April 29, 2025, and Bunq—the plucky, ever-optimistic neobank that’s quietly plotting world domination (or at least the betterment of your financial life)—leaped out of bed, threw on its jazz hands, and announced: “Surprise! You can invest in crypto right here, between scolding yourself for spending £12 on lattes and transferring emergency rent to your flatmate.” Yes, Bunq Crypto is officially a Thing.

Of course, it wouldn’t be true fintech drama if it wasn’t for the very ~select~ launch: only for those trendy residents of the Netherlands, France, Spain, Ireland, Italy, and Belgium (sorry, Luxembourg, maybe next year). Worry not: soon anyone sipping Aperol in the European Economic Area, as well as future Americans and Brits who just can’t wait to combine meme coins with their current accounts, will join the party. Bunq’s already sliding into regulators’ DMs to snag those juicy licenses across the pond(s).

And because nobody wants their crypto traded on some suspicious, faceless app found in the digital equivalent of a dodgy alley, Bunq called up Kraken (very serious, not just a sea monster) to provide the knowhow. The result? Access to a whopping 300+ cryptocurrencies, including bitcoin and ethereum—because clearly, what you need in your life is another reason to check your phone at 2 am. 📈🚀

Apparently, 65% of Bunq users are just desperate for a financial relationship that combines the warm embrace of traditional banking with the thrill of volatile assets. Finally, all your reckless and responsible spending habits can live together in harmony.

Will your parents understand what you’re doing? Absolutely not. Will you? Unlikely. But at least you can do it all without leaving your app. Welcome to the future, darling.

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2025-04-30 11:02