You’ll Never Guess How Many Bitcoins Wall Street Scooped Up—Miners Are Outpaced 6:1! 😂💰

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It is a truth universally acknowledged, that an ETF in possession of a vast fortune, must be in want of excessive Bitcoin. Indeed, in this past week, American spot Bitcoin exchange-traded funds exhibited a zeal most unbecoming of moderation, having acquired nearly six times the number of Bitcoins that those humble miners were able to coax from the digital earth. One almost expects these institutions to be seen elbowing each other at the society ball, desperate to secure a most eligible asset. 💃🕺

HODL15Capital, a name I confess inspires neither confidence nor comprehension among the ton, reports that a staggering 18,644 Bitcoin have been swept up by US funds in seven short days—whilst only 3,150 sprightly new BTC were mined. One endeavours to keep pace with such demand, but the miners, poor souls, can only muster 450 coins a day; one is reminded of Lady Catherine trying in vain to outshine her younger, more fashionable rivals. 😏

Astonishingly, such accumulation signifies nearly six times the pace of production! The total inflows these last five trading days blush at a respectable $1.8 billion, though, much like a dowager’s fainting spell, April 30 witnessed a rare net outflow—an event almost as scandalous as it is singular. Since the sixteenth of April, only this day has breached the noble tradition of green candles; the inflows seem to dance merrily alongside the market’s recovery. 🎩🍾

The asset, forever fickle, saw its price rise by 4% in early May, reaching a six-week height of $97,700 on the second of May (an altitude even Mr. Darcy might envy), before demurely retreating to a more prudent spot near $94,000—just where it tarried seven days prior. “So changeable is the world,” as every Austen heroine knows.

As for BlackRock’s iShares Bitcoin Trust (IBIT), allow me to say it wears its industry leadership like a new bonnet—almost $2.5 billion in inflows in just five days, and not the faintest hint of an outflow for seventeen consecutive days! If only one’s suitors displayed such constancy. 😂🌂

Mr. Nate Geraci, a president of some repute at The ETF Store, declared in a wittily penned blog post that spot Bitcoin ETFs now stand as a nearly $110 billion denomination. This is, apparently, despite an array of distribution obstacles more obstructive than Mrs. Bennet’s nerves. Many a wealth management platform, it seems, forbids its advisers from speaking of these ETPs, lest the young and impressionable be led astray.

“That is why, sir, I have previously asserted that spot Bitcoin ETFs operate with one hand tied behind their backs. Only imagine, if you can, the uproar should those restrictions be abolished.”

Litecoin ETF—Will the SEC Play Matchmaker?

Meanwhile, whispers circulate in the drawing rooms of finance regarding the impending decision for Canary Capital’s spot Litecoin ETF. The regulators—those ever-dithering chaperones—are due to render their second verdict by May 5. Canary, the bold issuer, submitted its suit for both Litecoin and XRP ETFs in October—possibly in hopes that at least one proposal might elicit a favourable nod.

Mr. James Seyffart of Bloomberg (whose reputation for candour rivals Charlotte Lucas herself) opined: “Should any asset stand a glimmer of early approval, it is Litecoin, in my opinion.” Yet, he tempers optimism with realism: “A delay is, alas, more probable.” His companion, Eric Balchunas, concurred earlier in the Season.

How many digital assets languish in expectation? Some seventy American crypto ETFs, according to a Bloomberg tattle, await the SEC’s pleasure this very year. One cannot help but wonder if, by the time the regulators act, the party will be quite over and the carriage turned into a pumpkin. 🎃

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2025-05-05 08:48