You Won’t Believe Who Just Called Bitcoiners a “Ponzi Cult”! 😂💰

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Under the grimy, electric lamps of financial districts—where broken men pitch dreams and millions die unlived—a legendary hedge fund overlord, Cliff Asness, thundered forth his disdain for Bitcoin disciples, branding them “Ponzi cultists” on X, a digital bazaar where egos battle and subtlety dies a slow, miserable death. 😏

Asness, the architect behind AQR Capital Management, in all his pragmatic glory, leapt to shield his comrade in cynicism, Jim Chanos—a man he reveres as “one of the GOATs.” Chanos, the Notorious Shortinator, is now embroiled in an epic slapfest with the Bitcoin mob, thanks to his bearish bets on ye olde Strategy (MSTR). Legend has it, he sleeps upside down like a bat, waiting for saylor-moon profits to plummet. 🦇

Word from the taverns (and U.Today) is that Chanos is now shorting Strategy stock, while hedging by buying Bitcoin directly—an arrangement so wobbly that even a circus clown would suggest a safety net. Because, haven’t you heard, Strategy basically bought all the Bitcoin, and Saylor’s probably using it to fill his pool. 🏊‍♂️

Chanos scoffs at the notion that people pay a premium for the privilege of corporate-branded exposure to the Great Orange Coin. He claims shifty premiums are propping things up, while whispered voices at midnight chant, “bubble, bubble, Bitcoin’s in trouble!”

Recently, armed with sarcasm sharper than a repo man’s blade, Chanos called out Strategy maestro Michael Saylor for emitting “financial gibberish” and bet big against his beloved NAV-multiplier, prophesizing it would shrivel like a raisin in the November wind.

This very morning, Chanos lobbed another rock at Saylor’s glass house, highlighting company “insider activity,” which, in Wall Street, is code for “someone big is running for the door.” The red dots on his chart scream “SELL!” with the subtlety of a drunk accordion player—often fingered at Saylor himself, though perhaps he’s just rearranging his goldfish. 🐟

Like these…?! $MSTR

— James Chanos (@RealJimChanos) June 15, 2025

And so, the tale meanders. As U.Today chronicled, Asness once mumbled that he’s “not a fan” of Bitcoin—imagine, a quant having doubts!—and speculated out loud that it may be a bubble. He stopped short of shouting “Scam!” into the wind; after all, he’s got rent to pay.

This number-crunching prophet once decreed, in a fit of mathematical revelation, that Bitcoin and the S&P 500 are merely siblings, separated at birth, dripping with different shades of chaos. Funny how everyone gets a new religion when their spreadsheets start singing, eh? 📈🤨

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2025-06-15 21:58