You Won’t Believe Which Fast-Food Chain is Letting You Pay For Fries With Bitcoin 🍔🪙

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It was only a matter of time before American gastronomy achieved such a zenith of decadence: Steak ’n Shake, that cathedral of cholesterol and shrine to the mighty hamburger, has decided that mere coins and crumpled bills are far too passé for the discerning palate of modernity. As of May 16, anyone with a hunger for both digital revolution and saturated fat may purchase fries, shakes, and existential dread with the ephemeral magic of Bitcoin.

The revelation unfolded via Steak ’n Shake’s official X account, where they addressed their “over 100 million customers”—a number which, much like the price of crypto, is best taken with an extra shake of salt. The missive was signed “Steaktoshi,” presumably because all great revolutions require a mascot with a pun, and because “Bitburger” was already taken by someone in Berlin.

Steak n Shake accepting Bitcoin payments at all locations starting May 16, making the cryptocurrency available to our more than 100 million customers. The movement is just beginning….

—Steaktoshi

— Steak ‘n Shake (@SteaknShake) May 9, 2025

The spectacle was preceded by a period of ostentatious foreplay on social media. In March, Steak ’n Shake teased the world with the rousing question, “Should Steak ’n Shake accept Bitcoin?”—as if the answer were not inevitably “yes” for anyone eager to combine indigestion with the volatility of digital assets. This bold proposition caught the ever-watchful eye of Jack Dorsey, who responded in a manner one can only describe as “enthused billionaire.”

Having sensed the winds of mania, Steak ’n Shake doubled down, treating followers to a succession of Bitcoin-laced imagery—spaceships bound for Mars adorned with crypto insignias, the suggestion of a brighter tomorrow, and the faint odour of existential risk. When you can’t make it to Mars, at least you can enjoy a double-thick shake earthside while watching your net worth fluctuate.

The future is bright

— Steak ‘n Shake (@SteaknShake) April 24, 2025

This is no mere dalliance with the zeitgeist; it’s a catastrophic ballet twixt fries and finance. While luxury merchants with silk-lined ledgers have dabbled in Bitcoin, Steak ’n Shake’s foray turns America’s dollar menu into an experiment in blockchains and broken dreams. Compared to those who move truffles and champagne, the humble burger joint must find out whether Satoshi’s vision holds up under the merciless stress of the lunch rush.

Not to be left behind, other quick-eat empires have already dipped their pickles into the crypto ketchup. Chipotle flirts with an entire menagerie of digital coins. Subway, that old sandwich statesman, has been accepting Bitcoin since 2013, while Pizza Hut in El Salvador will happily exchange crusts for crypto. Even the Golden Arches in Lugano: if you find yourself craving a Big Mac while yodeling by a Swiss lake, rest assured—Bitcoin will suffice.

The timing is impeccable. Steak ’n Shake’s leap into cyberspace comes mere days before “Bitcoin Pizza Day,” a sacred festival (for those who worship blockchain) commemorating the fateful moment a man exchanged 10,000 BTC for two pizzas—a decision that still haunts the culinary and financial world alike. If there’s any lesson here, it’s to never underestimate the human appetite for novelty, saturated fats, or regret.

In conclusion, as Steak ’n Shake opens its registers to the siren song of cryptocurrency, we edge ever closer to a world where one can buy not only a burger, but perhaps even a little slice of immortality, with just a few clicks and a willingness to gamble both dinner and destiny.

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2025-05-09 11:04