You Won’t Believe What’s Happening to KuCoin’s Bitcoin Stash! 😂💣

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So, apparently, according to Onchain School (whatever that is—sounds like a camp for blockchain overachievers), KuCoin’s Bitcoin stash went from 18,300 BTC in June 2023 to just 4,100 by April 2025. Let me get this straight—18,300 to 4,100? That’s not a “drop”—that’s a magic trick. Whoosh! 💨 Where’d it go? Is David Copperfield working at KuCoin now?

We’re told the culprit for this vanishing act is—what else?—KYC rules. “Know your customer,” they say. I say, “Know your users stopped trusting you.” KuCoin rolled these out in August 2023 to fight money laundering and terrorism, or as I like to call it, “making people angry and running for the exit.” Announce KYC and suddenly everyone’s worried about privacy, which, honestly, is hilarious. You trusted a crypto exchange with your money, but now you’re concerned about privacy? 😂

The geniuses at Onchain School think it’s all just a grand part of some bigger trend—Bitcoin running away from exchanges like me sprinting from a dinner party when the check comes. But the drop at KuCoin is, shall we say, extra dramatic. 👀

Now KuCoin’s out here doing their best impression of that annoying guy who always insists, “You’re taking me out of context!” They claim reserve management is totally fine, transparency is fantastic, and those on-chain numbers? Meh, don’t pay too much attention. “Snapshots don’t tell the whole story.” Yeah, and neither do yearbook photos, but try telling that to my mother.

Of course, everyone’s now talking (again!) about transparency and whether these KYC rules are spooking users. Here’s a thought: you want people to trust your crypto exchange, maybe don’t make their coins disappear faster than Larry at a wedding ceremony! 😏

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2025-05-07 04:49