You Won’t Believe What Trump’s Social Media Is Cooking Up Next—Crypto, Wallets, and a Wild Ride!

In the grand tradition of mysterious new things that promise to change the world but mostly change the weight of your wallet, Trump’s favourite digital loudhailer has sent a missive to its loyal, and probably very patient, shareholders. The big reveal? They’re plotting to unleash a digital rewards extravaganza, backed by their own shiny-new utility token. Because nothing says “modern business” like inventing a currency to pay yourself. 🪙

This digital token (let’s call it TruthCoin, because no one’s tried that on the internet before) will take up residence in a wallet carrying the company’s name. Soon, you may be able to use it to pay for VIP access to Truth+, which is undoubtedly the gold-plated, red-carpeted extension of their current offerings—because in the age of digital innovation, subscriptions are the new “Buy one, get one free.”

But wait, there’s ambition by the bucketload here! The plan is that, as the ecosystem grows, the token will wriggle its way into more and more Truth-packed services. Next thing you know, you’ll be buying imaginary coffee with it in a virtual café arguing over whose post had more likes. ☕️

This grand blue-sky thinking is hot on the heels of murmurings in blockchain circles that suggested the company wants to get chummy with high-tech finance. Just this month, there were trumpets and confetti as Trump Media teamed up with Crypto.com (which no doubt has a crypto for that) and Yorkville America Digital, launching a blizzard of crypto-related financial thingamajigs via its fintech branch, which, after careful market research, they’ve named—wait for it—Truth.Fi.

The existence of Truth.Fi emerged last year by the age-old tradition of trademark applications (the modern equivalent of sending ravens with scrolls), which hinted of grand designs: wallet software! Digital services! An opportunity to represent the truth digitally, which, as any Discworld imp would tell you, is a paradox in itself. 🦄

So the machine creaks on, stacking infrastructure on top of ambition, hoping one day it will all fuse together into an unstoppable media, payments, and digital asset hydra. Or at the very least, distract everyone while they finish the next press release.

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2025-04-30 06:34