You Won’t Believe What This Japanese Firm Did with 555 Bitcoins!

MetaPlanet Inc., a Japanese investment giant (because apparently, they don’t do things small), saw its stock surge a whopping 13% after splashing out on 555 shiny new bitcoins at an eye-watering $96,134 each. Yes, you read that right – that’s a whole lotta zeroes. This move pushes their total bitcoin stash to a grand total of 5,555, with a mind-boggling $481.5 million spent on the digital gold. Not bad for a company that only started stacking crypto like it was going out of style in 2024.

In a statement that can only be described as ‘CEO speak meets cryptic fortune cookie,’ the company’s CEO, Simon Gerovich, declared, “In Japanese, the number 5 is pronounced ‘Go,’ so today we’re shouting: ‘Go go go go to the moon and beyond!’ Because why not, right? Just in case you were wondering, we’re all about that moonshot mentality – but with bitcoins. 🤑🚀

*Metaplanet Acquires Additional 555 $BTC*

— Metaplanet Inc. (@Metaplanet_JP) May 7, 2025

Now, in case you thought Metaplanet was getting soft, they’re targeting a total of 10,000 BTC by the end of 2025. Yep, halfway there – because who needs small goals when you can just keep buying more bitcoins?

Of course, this wouldn’t be a proper crypto story without a little more debt, right? So Metaplanet launched its 13th bond, this time for a modest $25 million, just a week after the 12th series. Because clearly, they were thinking, “What’s better than 12 bonds? 13. Always go for the unlucky number!”

But wait – there’s more! Metaplanet is now eyeing the United States, because Miami is apparently where you go to expand your bitcoin empire, according to some mysterious business law of the universe. Plans are in place for a new branch in Miami to dive headfirst into the U.S. bitcoin market. The move is so inevitable, it practically screams ‘We are coming for your crypto, America!’

And just to top it off, Metaplanet now holds the crown as the largest public corporate holder of bitcoin in Asia. But they’re not stopping there – they’re also the 11th largest in the world, behind some little company called ‘Strategy,’ which casually owns more than 500,000 BTC. Pfft, easy peasy, right? 😏

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2025-05-07 10:19