You Won’t Believe What Dogecoin’s Creator Said About Bitcoin’s New Record 🚀

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In those bewildering and grievous times, when man’s soul gropes blindly for meaning—a time when peasants plow the fields and the nobility contemplates philosophy yet both feel somehow unsatisfied—Billy Markus, the co-creator of the fabled Dogecoin (that remarkable coin known to march to the beat of its own ridiculous drum), withdrew to his virtual study. There, as Doge paintings graced his digital walls, he pondered the fate of Bitcoin amidst its latest unbridled ascent. In the frigid dawn, with a glance at the flickering candlelight (or screen, as it were), he perceived that Bitcoin had nearly touched the sky—$112,000, a prodigious sum! Even the villagers in Yasnaya Polyana would be struck dumb, or simply suspicious, perhaps suspecting it all to be an elaborate prank.

“Hot” Takes in the Time of Great Folly

Markus, whose digital robes carry the moniker “Shibetoshi Nakamoto” (a jest so layered that the mere peasants of crypto-twitter must chortle in their fields), is renowned for gazing upon the world’s madness and replying with irony, sarcasm, and that weary, existential chuckle reserved for those who know too much yet own too little.

Upon witnessing the mighty graph, ascending vertically like a bureaucrat’s paperwork, Markus posted to the throngs:

bitcoin boner

— Shibetoshi Nakamoto (@BillyM2k) July 9, 2025

Yes, this was his “hot” take. Hotter than the samovar, perhaps, or the frustrated blushes of those who missed the previous dips.

In musings past, Markus—whose purse carries only 0.006 BTC, a sum so negligible that Tolstoy’s peasants would more readily exchange it for a turnip—had sworn never to sell until Bitcoin reached $1 billion per coin. Readers who expected the zealous greed of the railroad barons instead received only drizzled sarcasm. For truly, in the land where logic sleeps and chaos picks her teeth with golden tokens, Shibetoshi believes the market is more tempest than tide, more Dostoevsky than balance sheet. He takes pains (and takes jabs) to remind his followers: this world is foolish, and logic is but a lonely traveler, shunned at every village inn.

The Unbearable Lightness of CZ’s Tweets

Meanwhile, upon the steppes of the Internet, another titan stirred—Changpeng Zhao, or CZ as the villagers mutter his initials while dreaming of wealth under the vodka-damp stars. As Bitcoin scaled its new peak, CZ triumphantly reminded all of the wisdom enshrined in his own earlier proclamations:

Hope you bought the dip.

— CZ 🔶 BNB (@cz_binance) July 9, 2025

Wise words, no doubt, delivered with all the humility of a czar addressing his serfs. CZ, waxing metaphysical (likely after his fourth cup of crypto-flavored kvass), hinted at Metcalfe’s Law—as more souls join the chain-gang, connections multiply like Tolstoy’s characters, adding drama and value to the network (sometimes both, sometimes neither).

“As more users join a network (be it a village dance, social media, or blockchain), possibilities grow not in a straight line, but in a swirling, exponential waltz,” CZ explained, as if the peasants might abandon their scythes to buy Bitcoin and join the elegant ball. Indeed, the rise of Bitcoin, painted by these jesters and czars, is less an orderly march and more a chaotic waltz—one where the humor is sharp, fortunes sharp and fleeting, and you can almost hear the laughter of fate echoing in the moonlit night. 💫

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2025-07-10 11:24