You Won’t Believe What ‘Crypto Week’ Did to Congress! 😱

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Well, folks, hold onto your hats—or maybe your digital wallets—because the US Congress has just wrapped up its very own Crypto Week. Yeah, that’s right! It was like spring break for lawmakers, but instead of beach balls and cocktails, there were bills, votes, and that all-important bipartisanship moment. 🙌

The crypto industry is popping the bubbly (not actual bubbly, I mean, who can afford that in this economy? 😂) after the House of Representatives passed the GENIUS Act. Yes, you heard it right—GENIUS. Because nothing screams “wisdom” like a bunch of politicians tackling cryptocurrency regulations while still trying to figure out how to use a fax machine. 🥴

And guess what? They’re sending other bills to the Senate too, including the mystical CLARITY Act—the legislation equivalent of those Maury Povich DNA tests. Because we all need clarity, especially when it comes to blockchain! 📜

Crypto legislation celebration

Crypto Week puts GENIUS Act on President Trump’s desk

The GENIUS Act is now making its way to the White House. And spoiler alert: Trump is expected to sign it at 2:30 PM local time on Friday, which is a delightful crossover of politics and crypto nerds everywhere! 🎉

This law could come crashing into our lives about 18 months after it gets signed, which is approximately 17 months longer than anyone’s New Year’s resolutions ever last. And let’s just say, it could also make stablecoin issuers start acting like actual banks. Because, you know, why not throw that extra layer of complexity into the mix? 💁‍♀️

But Logan Payne, a crypto lawyer, mentioned that this could compel many issuers to become banks—like how your parents always wished you would become a doctor. 🩺

And let’s not forget our pal Brian Armstrong, the CEO of Coinbase, who wanted a provision to allow interest on customer stablecoin reserves. He claims it democratizes wealth budding majestic flies on the wall. Yet, no such luck! Quite the dramatic twist, huh? 🎭

Virtual currency discussion

And here’s more fun—three years after the signing, if you’re a foreign stablecoin issuer, you can’t play in the US sandbox if you didn’t bring your US regulatory permission slip! Unless your home country has the regulatory vibe that mirrors the US. Talk about being an elite club! 🕵️‍♂️

Will the Senate give the crypto industry CLARITY?

The CLARITY Act and the Anti-CBDC bill (which sounds like a government conspiracy movie) are now heading to the Senate. The CLARITY Act could exempt “digital commodities on mature blockchains” from the Securities Act of 1933. Let me repeat: 1933! People were still using rotary phones back then. #Retro

Now, you might think this would be straightforward—bipartisan support smiles and rainbows. But hold your unicorns! Because some House Democrats were busy running an “anti-crypto corruption week campaign.” Translation? They don’t play nice with crypto! 🌈

Even with all the chaos, it’s like the CLARITY Act and other measures have a shot at passing, or, as I like to call it, edgy political gymnastics! 🤸‍♂️

Crypto optimism moment

Crypto industry optimistic

So, despite all the amendments and side-eyes, these three bills might just represent a windfall for the US crypto industry—a pro-crypto pineapple-dancing feast in Congress! 🍍🎊

Crypto leaders are optimistic, and you know what they say: “Hope springs eternal unless you’re in line at the DMV.” Nathan McCauley of Anchorage Digital seems to think the CLARITY Act is key for market transparency. Wow, what a shift from “knowing your neighbor’s business” to “knowing your crypto assets!”

James Harris of Tesseract believes US regulations could ripple globally, like a pebble tossing drama into a body of water… just not the kind you want to swim in. 🏊‍♀️

In the end, with more policymakers eyeing the crypto prize, the question isn’t so much if these bills will pass, but when we’ll get our buns delivered a shiny digital dollar. Not that I’m holding my breath… because we all know how this show goes. 🎭💨

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2025-07-19 15:16