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You Won’t Believe the Secrets Behind Crypto Airdrops!

BBG News

Once upon a time in the peculiar land of finance, a rather eccentric wizard from a16z declared, “Airdrops should be as safe as a toffee in a troll’s pocket—legal, frequent, and utterly delightful!” He was on a mission to whisk these magical tokens away from the clutches of dreary regulations.

In the spirit of mischief and mayhem, the crypto familiars continue to sing their jaunty tune, demanding friendlier rules. On a rather curious Thursday, April 10, the noble Sir Miles Jennings—head sorcerer of a16z crypto and general counsel—released an enchanting scroll. This scroll detailed his dream of easing the shackles on magical crypto airdrops. 😜

“The Biden SEC’s dastardly assault on crypto has stirred up all kinds of wicked incentives, leaving dear Americans sadly stranded. Imagine the horror—missing out on enchanting airdrops that bestow a slice of the Internet’s very soul! Today, we unveil our whirlwind safe harbor proposal👇”

— Miles Jennings (@milesjennings) April 10, 2025

With a tone as cheeky as a chocolate factory prank, Sir Miles lambasted the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (yes, that same old Gary Gensler crew) for their overzealous rules. Their severity had cast a gloomy spell that forced most projects to leave unsuspecting Americans out in the cold during these whimsical airdrops.

“The Biden SEC’s misadventure created such peculiar incentives that it banished Americans from the joy of airdrops—robbing them of a rightful claim to the very magic of the internet,” proclaimed the ever-mischievous Sir Miles of a16z.

a16z Unleashes its ‘Safe Harbor’ Spell

Now, dear reader, imagine a treacle twist in the tale: airdrops, those mysterious relics of crypto lore, are meant to be sprinkled across loyal holders like pixie dust. Some tokens are tossed to reward a knight’s valor, while others serve as a cheeky tool to spread word of secret treasures. Yet, because the grumpy SEC insists on treating nearly every crypto asset as a bewitched security, their approach to airdrops has been nothing short of a sour lemon.

According to these naysaying alchemists, crypto airdrops are akin to unregistered magic tricks—even though receiving them costs not a penny. Sir Miles, with a twinkle of sarcasm in his eye, disagrees fiercely. He argues the importance of airdrops in transforming fledgling projects into robust, decentralized kingdoms. 😊

“Airdrops are not a ‘sale’ of wares, my dear friends. They are the secret ingredients that make the magic of blockchain come alive, helping projects grow into vibrant, decentralized marvels.”

To set things right in this topsy-turvy world, Sir Miles has conjured up five bewitching conditions to free an airdrop from the clutches of U.S. securities laws. Firstly, the token must be a genuine network token—a treasure whose value springs from a decentralized realm rather than a mere corporate contraption. Also, the mystical blockchain network must already be churning out its enigmatic wonders.

As for its distribution, it should be as widespread and fair as a gobstopper is sweet, not reserved only for privy investors or the secretive venture capital elves. Furthermore, the airdrop should be free or dispensed as a reward for past quests across the network. And finally, any portion set aside for the insiders must be locked away for at least one year, lest a dastardly rug pull spoils the fun.

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2025-04-10 22:56

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