Upexi, that illustrious brand owner you’ve probably never heard of, whose greatest talent until now was supply chain management (thrilling stuff), just decided to spice things up by diving headfirst into cryptocurrency. On April 21, they announced a jaw-dropping $100 million raise. Over 90% of that cash is going into their new Solana (SOL) treasury strategy, because why not put your money where the memes are? 🚀
Shares on the NASDAQ did what you might expect when someone waves around $100 million and says “crypto”: they went from closing at a humble $2.30 on April 17 to a stratospheric $16.79 by the time I was able to write this, which translates to a casual 632% jump in a single day. If only taxes were that generous. 💸
The party wasn’t just Upexi’s idea. Oh no, a veritable who’s who of “prominent” crypto venture capitalist firms crashed the fundraising bash—think Arthur Hayes’s family office (yes, the guy who made crypto trading look like extreme sports), Delta Blockchain Fund, Delphi Ventures, Hivemind, Borderless, and White Star Capital. They all shelled out, with the shares going for $2.28 each—talk about a steal now!
And if you’re wondering how the company was doing before this crypto makeover, they posted a $3 million profit in the last quarter of 2024. Down a modest 34.8% or $4.6 million compared to 2023. So, you know, steadily mediocre.
How to Copycat Your Way to Crypto Glory
Remember Strategy? Not the word “strategy,” but the company (formerly MicroStrategy) that pioneered the whole “buy Bitcoin, hold weirdly” treasury approach? They started snagging Bitcoin back in August 2020, and their stock price has been doing that butterfly effect thing ever since. Right now, more than 13,000 companies have decided that mimicking Strategy’s bitcoin obsession is the new corporate fashion statement.
And because imitation is the sincerest form of flattery (or delusion), others followed suit: Metaplanet has stacked up over $400 million in BTC by April 21, while Semler Scientific is proudly waving around its paper losses from Bitcoin like they’re participation trophies.
Most companies picked Bitcoin, but Upexi and a few brave souls like Janover (now run by some ex-Kraken folks) are betting on Solana. Janover grabbed $10.5 million worth of SOL mid-April, clearly impressed by Solana’s promise as the “Ethereum killer,” speed demon of the blockchain world, powered by something mysteriously called proof-of-history consensus. And yes, Solana’s recent bull run owes a lot to memecoins and decentralized apps that probably make no sense to normal people. 🙃
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2025-04-21 20:40