What happened while everyone was pretending to understand DeFi:
- Meta Pool let someone mint mpETH tokens like they were handing out party favors. $27M worth. Oopsie. 😬
- Plot twist: The alleged mastermind (probably wearing socks with sandals) walks away with just $25K, thanks to the shallow puddle of liquidity on Uniswap. That’s not even a London rent deposit.
- May’s “Exploit Season” continues. Because apparently investors need the adrenaline. $302M lost. It’s like a very expensive game of whack-a-mole and the moles are winning.
Meta Pool, a multi-chain liquid staking protocol (fancy talk for “send us your tokens and cross your fingers”), had its smart contract burgled on Tuesday. The end result? $27 million worth of funny money minted. Actual impact? Meh. $25,000 cashed out. That’s the equivalent of robbing a bank, but there’s only a fiver and some chewing gum in the vault.
The brains at PeckShield figured out the mess: apparently the staking contract was about as secure as a cardboard door. Unlimited minting for all! 🎉
The attacker, after conjuring $27M of tokens, found out the hard way that low liquidity on Uniswap means you can mint riches, but can’t actually buy anything nice. Not a single Lambo in sight. Just 10 ETH, or the crypto equivalent of a sad trombone.
Meanwhile, someone with the extremely conspicuous label “MEV Frontrunner Yoink” (very subtle, love it) yanked 90 ETH worth of liquidity right before the exploit. Why yes, this does sound like a plotline from a soap opera for very-online insomniacs.
If you’re wondering whether Meta Pool has commented: they haven’t. Maybe they’re practicing their apology tour in the mirror. The protocol’s TVL still claims a heroic $75 million (says DefiLlama, who might just be making numbers up at this point) and MPDAO trades at $0.02. I’ve seen more action in the back of my fridge.
TL;DR: May’s DeFi hacks, scams, and exploits total $302 million. The only thing riskier than crypto is trusting a flat white not to cost £7 in Shoreditch.
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2025-06-17 17:27