Warren Buffett’s Wallet Explodes: $11.5 Billion in 15 Weeks! 🤑

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Warren Buffett, the billionaire who probably bathes in dollar bills, has somehow managed to add $11.5 billion to his net worth this year. Yes, you read that right. While the rest of us are struggling to afford avocado toast, Buffett’s wallet is growing faster than a teenager’s acne. 🤑

According to Bloomberg, his net worth is now a cool $153.5 billion. That’s enough to buy a small country—or at least a really big yacht. 🚤

And get this: Buffett’s gains come despite the global market selloff triggered by President Trump’s tariffs. You know, the same tariffs that wiped trillions of dollars from global equities. But hey, who needs trillions when you’ve got Buffett’s magic touch? ✨

Even after this month’s selloff, which shaved $14.5 billion off his net worth, Buffett is still sitting pretty. He’s now ranked fourth among global billionaires, and he’s one of only two in the top 20 who actually got richer this year. The other? L’Oreal heiress Francoise Bettencourt Meyers, who added a measly $1.8 billion. Pfft, amateur. 💅

Meanwhile, the top 500 billionaires collectively lost over $500 billion in just two days after the tariff news hit. Elon Musk alone suffered a $134 billion loss. Ouch. But hey, at least he’s still got $297 billion left. Poor guy. 😢

Buffett’s conglomerate, Berkshire Hathaway, saw an 8.8% share decline since April 2, but that’s still better than the S&P 500’s 10.7% fall. The company’s secret? Focusing on the property and casualty sector, which is apparently less affected by global trade disruptions. Who knew? 🤷‍♂️

Buffett has also been smart enough to avoid major deals while trimming stakes in Apple and Bank of America, both of which have been hit hard by the tariffs. So, while the rest of the world is panicking, Buffett is probably sipping a Cherry Coke and laughing all the way to the bank. 🍒🥤

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2025-04-12 01:21