Uber’s Bitcoin Bid: Stablecoins to Cut Costs? Or Just a Fancy Plaything? 😅

by

Uber Dreams of Saving Money with Stablecoins—What Could Go Wrong? 🚖💸

In the grand city of San Francisco, where dreams are as common as coffee and as fleeting as retirement plans, Uber’s noble CEO Dara Khosrowshahi announced that the company is currently “in the study phase” of… wait for it… using stablecoins to reduce the almighty costs of moving money across the globe. Ah, the dream of international riches! 🌎💰

On that illustrious stage at the Bloomberg Tech Summit — a gathering of the brightest minds and the most bored executives — Dara declared that Uber “definitely going to take a look” at stablecoins, as if they’re eyeing a new pair of shoes. Very promising, indeed! 👀

“We’re still in the study phase, I’d say,” he said, as if pondering whether to buy a yacht or a small island, “but stablecoin is one of the, for me, more interesting instantiations of crypto that has a practical benefit other than crypto as a store of value.” In simple words: it’s not just about hoarding digital gold, but actually doing something useful, like paying for a taxi without moving a mountain of cash. 🚕✨

“Obviously, you can have your opinions on Bitcoin,” he added, “but it’s a proven commodity, and you know, people have different opinions on where it’s going.” So, in essence, it’s a game of ‘Where’s Bitcoin Heading?’ while Uber figures out how to save a buck or two, perhaps with stablecoins — those “mirrors” of good old US dollars backed by some vague reserves. 🤷‍♂️

Stablecoins — the digital doppelgängers of traditional cash, hoping to keep their value steady by clutching onto reserves of actual dollars or bonds — are now the latest “super interesting” toy for ambitious companies. It’s like playing Monopoly with real money that doesn’t actually change hands, but oh, how the auditors love it. 🏦😉

Khosrowshahi dismisses the notion that stablecoins are just a hype train and insists they are “quite promising,” especially for global giants — or perhaps for those who wish to avoid the paltry exchange fees at the bank. “It’s a mechanism to reduce costs,” he says, as if that’s the only goal in a universe ruled by profit and botched algorithms. 💼💸

Everyone’s Jumping on the Stablecoin Bandwagon — Even Countries! 🌍

And no surprise here: other big names and banks are also smitten. John Collison of Stripe, sounding very serious, confided that his company is “in early discussions” with banks about stablecoins — because what could possibly go wrong? Meanwhile, a report from Fireblocks reveals that 90% of big institutions are “exploring” stablecoins — that is, poking at them like curious cats with laser pointers. 🐱

The Russian government, not to be left behind, mulled over the idea of creating its own stablecoin — because nothing says “trust” like state-controlled digital cash. Abu Dhabi, tired of waiting, teamed up with three major institutions to produce a Dirham-pegged stablecoin, ready to make your international transactions smoother than a silk suit. 💼🌐

The US dollar-based stablecoins grow stronger, crossing $230 billion in market cap — a figure that makes your head spin faster than a spinning top. Tether and USDC dominate 90% of this shiny digital pie, with total stablecoin volumes reaching a mind-boggling $27.6 trillion in 2024. Yes, trillion — enough zeros to confuse even the most seasoned accountants. Meanwhile, over $94 billion in stablecoin transactions happened between 2023 and 2025, proving that digital cash isn’t just a hobby anymore. 🤑

Read More

2025-06-06 06:50