In a grand spectacle worthy of a Bulgakov novel, President Donald Trump took to his trusty social stage—Truth Social—to declare that the mighty US and China, those two titans of trade, have finally clasped hands in a deal so spectacular, it could only be imagined in a fever dream. 🎭
With a flourish, he announced that the US would slap a hefty 55% tariff—because who doesn’t love a little inflation mixed with international diplomacy—while our friends in the Dragon’s land only face a modest 10%. Trump, ever the poet, declared their relationship ‘excellent,’ and Chinese students will keep surrendering their youth to American universities, ‘which have always been good with me.’ Ah, the sweet symphony of diplomacy! 🎓
BREAKING: A glorious deal, laden with secrets, includes:
1. “Total of 55% tariffs”—meaning nothing and everything.
2. A mere 10% for China, because elegance is best served small.
3. China to supply “necessary rare earths”—because magic beans are out of fashion.
4. Rare earths to be supplied upfront—no funny business, just a dose of Chinese sincerity.
5. Chinese students will continue to grace US campuses—presumably with their hope and despair. 📚
— The Kobeissi Letter (@KobeissiLetter), June 11, 2025
Yet, amid the fanfare and fireworks, the vague whispers of “55% tariffs” still echo through the corridors of Wall Street, leaving investors gasping for details like a fish out of water. The deal, struck swiftly after London’s cold dawn, now waits on the grand stage—approval from Xi Jinping and the POTUS, both apparently quite pleased with themselves, like cats that caught the shining mouse.
Meanwhile, in the theater of economic statistics, the US CPI for May flickered into existence. Lo and behold, inflation is at a modest 2.4%, with a tiny 0.1% monthly increase. CNBC whispered softly that perhaps, just perhaps, these tariffs aren’t the economic apocalypse some foretold. Or so they say—until the next act.
And in the glittering world of cryptocurrencies, Bitcoin—the star of this farcical drama—reacted immediately, leaping from roughly $109,000 to a dizzying $110,000, only to settle down like a tired actor at the close of his scene, a mere $400 from the finale’s upper boundary. Who said markets don’t have a sense of humor? 💸
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2025-06-11 16:08