Trump’s Pardon, Warren’s Fury: CZ’s Crypto Carnival & BNB’s Mysterious Surge 🎪💸

Changpeng Zhao, the Elon Musk of crypto (minus the flamethrower), refutes Senator Warren’s “money laundering” claims, gains presidential pardon, and watches BNB skyrocket like a SpaceX rocket with a caffeine addiction. 🚀

“The devil’s in the details,” whispered CZ to his 12 million Twitter followers, as Senator Elizabeth Warren accused him of laundering money while he was, in fact, busy laundering… wait, no, he wasn’t. 🤔

Warren’s Allegations: A Soap Opera Without the Soap

Senator Warren, ever the Cassandra of Capitol Hill, took to X (formerly Twitter) to declare CZ guilty of money laundering, prison time, and definitely colluding with extraterrestrial beings. 🛸

CZ pleaded guilty to a criminal money laundering charge and was sentenced to prison.

But then he financed President Trump’s stablecoin and lobbied for a pardon.

Today, he got it.

If Congress does not stop this kind of corruption, it owns it.

– Elizabeth Warren (@SenWarren)

Note: None of these charges were real. CZ’s only crime? Making BNB holders too rich too fast. 📈💸

Zhao’s Response: “Hold My NFT”

CZ, ever the indomitable titan of the digital realm, didst protest with all the vigor of a man who hath just discovered his sous-chef is, in fact, the devil himself. 🎭

A US Senator can’t get her facts right, in a public post about a person’s charge. There were NO money laundering changes.

The same Senator declared “war on crypto”, on public TV, 5 days before my sentencing, during the Biden Admin.

Need a better example of weaponization of…

– CZ BNB (@cz_binance)

Translation: “Ma’am, this is a Wendy’s. Also, the DOJ isn’t your personal vendetta toolkit.” 🔪

BNB’s Surge: When Bulls Attack

Binance Coin (BNB), that most enigmatic of digital phantoms, didst rise by 5%-a mere trifle compared to the 100% ascent from its earlier lows. Traders, it seems, hath declared a jubilee, complete with confetti cannons and a marching band playing the theme from Rocky. 🎉

“The market,” whispered one trader, “is less about logic and more about CZ’s cosmic aura. Also, we’re high on our own supply.” 🌈

As CZ enjoys his pardon, Warren’s war on crypto rages on. Meanwhile, BNB holders are too busy buying Lambos to care. 🚗

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2025-10-24 15:38