Trump’s Bitcoin Whisperer Plots Dazzling Debut: $300M Public ‘Nakamoto’ Company?
What to know:
- The czar behind Bitcoin Magazine, one David Bailey by name, is waving his velvet coin-purse and, with the elegance of a soirée guest two drinks deep, floats rumors of “Nakamoto,” a public bitcoin investment confection (or is it company? Anything is possible behind the velvet rope).
- Bailey fingers through the file marked “Grand Aspirations”: $300 million, via the twin hydras of private equity and convertible debt, aimed at transforming mere electrons into a stack of digital denarii—and, perhaps, a public listing. Wall Street, prepare your fainting couches.
- With the performative élan of a magician who will not be outdone, Bailey’s act joins a veritable parade: first MicroStrategy, then SoftBank and Strive—everyone’s donning the fabled Satoshi mask, hoping to catch a whiff of blockchain-scented fortune.
David Bailey, lord of BTC Inc. and proud owner of Bitcoin Magazine, floats into focus, his top hat festooned with crypto credentials. The Information—those omnipresent snoops—report Bailey plans to conjure a publicly traded vessel for the singular worship of bitcoin, a plot far subtler than grandma’s banana bread but, one suspects, no less self-raising.
Having once whispered crypto esoterica into Donald Trump’s besieged campaign headquarters (one can only speculate what that was like), Bailey now rallies investors for the ritual: $200 million from private hands, a party trick of $100 million more from convertible debt, all destined for a lean, shimmering public firm whose only job is to buy bitcoin (and smile for the cameras).
The grand reveal, as ever, is shrouded in a mahogany haze: merged and reborn as “Nakamoto”—the moniker borrowed from bitcoin’s own Mona Lisa, Satoshi—a company so suave, it might just flirt with the SEC.
Not to be outdone by Michael Saylor’s runaway bitcoin bonanza (which, like certain tulip bubbles, keeps floating skyward), Bailey joins the resplendent pantheon, where a 3,000% stock jump is the hors d’oeuvre and a rebrand is the dessert. 🍰
Elsewhere in the ballroom, those financial heavy-hitters—SoftBank, Tether, Cantor Fitzgerald—posture with their own glittering $3.6 billion vehicle, eager for a slice of digital pie. Meanwhile, Strive Asset Management and Asset Entities twirl together in matrimonial merger—everyone’s suddenly related at this bitcoin banquet. 🥂
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2025-05-08 00:21