This Crypto Cliffhanger Will Keep You Up at Night: GENIUS Act Drama Unpacked!

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If you’ve ever wondered what happens when a lawyer with a crypto obsession gets dramatic, grab your popcorn. John E Deaton—who, let’s face it, is basically the Bridget Jones of blockchain—has taken to the internet (where else?) to declare that unless Congress gets its collective act together and passes the GENIUS Act right this very minute, crypto fans won’t see much reform action until 2029. Yes, 2029. At which point we may have flying cars and senators still asking what a blockchain is.

Deaton isn’t the only one tensed up over this—cue Messari founder Ryan Selkis, furrowing his brow and warning that if things don’t move now, we can wave bye-bye to any adult conversation about crypto laws for the next eternity (no pressure, Congress).

So much suspense! 🥱

GENIUS Act: Spoiler Alert, It’s Not About Genius or Crypto

According to Deaton, the GENIUS Act is the most misleadingly named bill since the “Diet Cookie Act.” It’s being pitched as something every politician should love—because apparently it’s not even a “crypto bill” but more like the “Dollar Domination Act” (as Alex Thorn from Galaxy Research cleverly spilled). Nobody mention Bitcoin, it’s all about the dollar, darling. 💸

The stakes? As Selkis spells out (with the gravitas of someone watching their crypto bags drop), if Congress fluffs this, even the most basic crypto bill will arrive at the White House DOA. Just in time for the next round of election memes and the return of ‘Trump: Crypto Critic or Crypto King?’ Meanwhile, China and Russia, hearing chants of “de-dollarization,” are cheering from the sidelines. Apparently, America is supposed to save the dollar with… stablecoins.

The logic: slap a U.S.-backed sticker on some coins, and suddenly everyone wants to buy our Treasury debt again. Economics, but with emojis. 🤑

Our Laws: A Throwback Thursday Special

Now, Deaton’s had enough of American politics ping-ponging like a badly programmed trading bot. One administration axes everything; the next decides to host a crypto barbecue on the White House lawn if it gets enough retweets. Either way, the actual rules? Most of them were written when Humphrey Bogart was still a thing.

The Do-Nothing Olympics

Basically, unless people get shockingly bipartisan and pass the GENIUS Act (stop laughing), reform is off to the graveyard for the next presidential cycle, especially if Trump resumes his unpredictable relationship with digital assets. Selkis is all but live-tweeting the end of crypto optimism, and Deaton even throws side-eye at Coinbase, which, surprise, seems oddly quiet—possibly because a regulatory wild west gives them a competitive advantage. Suspicious? Or just Tuesday in crypto world. 🤔

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2025-05-14 19:14