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‘The Later Daters’ shows that dating after 55 ‘is a lot sexier than people think’

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'The Later Daters' shows that dating after 55 'is a lot sexier than people think'

As I delve into these heartwarming stories of Suzanne Doty and Suzanne Martin, I can’t help but be moved by their resilience and courage in navigating the complex world of dating after significant loss.

Navigating dating in the swipe-left era can be tough for those who aren’t artificial intelligence, but it becomes even more complex for singles who spent their youth without the internet, when being “steady” was common and an app meant something entirely different. Although the new technology might seem overwhelming, there are also a multitude of emotional and practical aspects to consider with age, such as children, careers, and lifestyle choices. These factors must be taken into account when exploring any potential new relationships.

Titled “The Later Daters,” debuting on Netflix on November 29th, is a documentary series centered around the rising group of singles over the age of 55. The show follows six individuals – three men and three women – as they embark on a string of blind dates in their pursuit of love once more. As they sail through uncharted romantic waters, they draw support not only from loved ones who know them inside out but also from Logan Ury, a behavioral scientist with a degree from Harvard, who doubles as a dating coach. Using a data-driven methodology, she provides each client with personalized advice at home, assists them in recognizing patterns within their relationships, and sets tasks (such as “express something that makes you feel exposed”) before each date.

According to Ury, the author of “How to Not Die Alone,” it’s quite straightforward and goal-oriented, helping you understand your current situation and where you aspire to be. Rest assured, I’m here to assist you in reaching that destination.

Produced by the ex-First Lady Michelle Obama, “The Later Daters” isn’t a new reality show focusing on vibrant seniors seeking love, challenging age-related stereotypes. The show “The Golden Bachelor” garnered popularity when it debuted last fall, but fell short of expectations as it led to the briefest marriage in the history of the “Bachelor” series franchise. Its spinoff, “The Golden Bachelorette,” premiered this fall and has since ended. Unlike ABC’s show, “The Later Daters” prioritizes self-enhancement over competition.

In her earlier works, Ury primarily focused on single individuals from Generation Z and the millennials. However, she discovered that the insights she gained could also be relevant to older generations.

'The Later Daters' shows that dating after 55 'is a lot sexier than people think'

She prompts her younger clients, as well as the contestants on the show, to ponder these questions: “What is your identity? How do you present yourself during dates? Can we adjust your behavior to achieve different results?” In essence, she explains that while we’re naturally inclined to love, dating skills are not innate and improving with age doesn’t automatically make us great daters.

Dating later in life has complications, but there are also unexpected plus sides, said Ury.

In your twenties, when you’re dating, you’re often discovering more about yourself. At this stage, there’s typically less emphasis on getting married and fewer concerns regarding the timing of family planning. This is what she explained.

It’s worth mentioning some intriguing findings indicating that sexual experiences for older singles might even become more gratifying. As Ury explained, “They have a deeper understanding of their own bodies. They are often more comfortable articulating their desires.

In “The Later Daters,” as Ury stated, you’ll find an authentic portrayal of dating beyond age 55, and it turns out to be more sensual than many might imagine.

As Anise Mastin, a 63-year-old marketing executive and mother of three, I embraced the chance to collaborate with an accomplished dating coach. Being committed to personal growth and presenting my best self at all times, I believed that if there were any areas where I might be missing something, she could help me identify them. During our video call from my office in Atlanta, I expressed this sentiment, “I felt it was essential for me to improve continually, always striving to show up as my best self.” Additionally, working on a project produced by Obama’s Higher Ground production company gave me a sense of security that I wouldn’t be portrayed negatively as a Black person.

'The Later Daters' shows that dating after 55 'is a lot sexier than people think'

Mastin’s tale is quite moving: At just 27 years old, she found herself a widow following her husband’s tragic death in a work-related accident. They had married straight out of high school and their plan was for Mastin to pursue higher education once their youngest child turned five. However, her husband passed away when their youngest was only two. “That was one of the hardest experiences I’ve ever faced,” she shared. “At that time, I only had a high school diploma.

In the end, Mastin finally attended college, a dream of hers since forever, and not only that, but she also managed to secure a PhD. However, her second marriage didn’t work out, resulting in a divorce, and for quite some time, love took a back burner. When she felt prepared to date once more, it proved challenging to re-enter the dating scene. The challenge lies in discovering someone who shares similar values with whom I can build a life together,” she explained.

Mastin notes that dating over fifty can be complex due to past challenges experienced by most individuals, and sometimes these issues remain unresolved, creating a ‘legacy’ or ‘remains’. She frequently encounters this ‘legacy’ in men of that age group, which she refers to as ‘unresolved baggage’ from previous relationships. “Some women have tolerated poor behavior, and I don’t think it’s right for me to accept the same,” she said. (Mastin experiences significant ‘unresolved baggage’ on her initial date, but things seem to improve as the series progresses.)

In just half an hour of talking, Mastin found Ury remarkably insightful about him, as he later remarked, “After our chat, she immediately knew my true nature.

From the evidence, it appears that Ury concluded Mastin had faced certain past events that led her to build protective barriers. Furthermore, it seemed to Ury that Mastin was cautious around men who might perceive her achievements as a threat.

I admire a woman who doesn’t shy away from revealing her accomplishments, such as having a doctorate. She puts it out there boldly and honestly: ‘If they can’t handle it, I don’t want to waste my time.’ Indeed, she’s spot on. Be unapologetically yourself, and if others can’t accept you for who you are, that says more about them than it does about you.

In many of her on-camera appearances, Mastin’s daughter, Dwayna Haley, often takes on the role of a sidekick and confidante. Their relationship – characterized by mutual support and playful banter – is likely to strike a chord with viewers. As Mastin put it, “I became a wife and a mother at a young age, she’s been present for my significant life events. She’s my go-to person.” Additionally, Mastin also boasts three grandchildren.

'The Later Daters' shows that dating after 55 'is a lot sexier than people think'

For Suzanne Doty, “The Later Daters” provided an appealing choice over dating apps, which she described as a complete mess. A 64-year-old widow and optometrist decided to join the show following a recommendation from her sister-in-law. As someone entering the dating scene at our age, Suzanne explained, you often encounter either bitter divorced individuals or grieving widows, each of whom have unique challenges they bring into relationships.

If Chris, Doty’s husband, had not passed away due to lung cancer in 2018 after 27 years of marriage, she would not be single today. As she spoke from her home in Georgia via Zoom, she expressed that he was her foundation and support in all aspects of life.

Following his passing, she immersed herself in her profession and family care, explaining, “I worked tirelessly, tidied every nook of our home, handled as much landscaping as possible, and mainly grieved.” She admitted, “I believe I didn’t give myself enough time to heal.

'The Later Daters' shows that dating after 55 'is a lot sexier than people think'

After experiencing loss, she has become more cautious when it comes to relationships. “I had to navigate my way through that mourning phase,” Doty explained. “Everyone would tell me, ‘The memories grow more precious,’ and they do.” However, for 3½ years, she couldn’t utter his name without tears because she missed him deeply.

On their conversation, Doty discussed her feelings of sorrow with Ury and expressed her passion for books and podcasts. The initial task assigned by Ury to Doty was to guide the discussion, skip past the standard introductions, and delve into broader subjects instead. As Doty put it, “It’s essential to determine if there’s an intellectual connection rather than just a surface-level one.” Intriguingly, Doty’s daughter, Allison Doty, is a regular on the show, offering her support and checking in after each date – a heartwarming twist on typical roles.

As a die-hard Georgia Bulldogs football enthusiast, I’ve set a boundary: my potential partner must share my passion for the team, or at least pretend to! After all, I proudly bleed red and black. So, imagine my dilemma when I find myself on a date with someone who roots for the rival Alabama team. This is a tough one, folks.

She was happy to discover that other things were more negotiable than her partner’s favorite football team. “Looks are not as important to me as I thought they were,” she said. She’s also more into intellectual guys and reserved types than she would have guessed. “It’s been a fun project,” she said.

On Thanksgiving weekend, Doty looks forward to gathering with her family for a viewing party of the series they’ve all been waiting for, but there’s a twist: she won’t be able to join in immediately as she has tickets for a Georgia football game on the day it premieres.

“I’ll be a day late,” she said.

Spoken like a woman who knows what she wants in life and isn’t about to compromise.

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2024-11-21 14:33

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