The Great American Fortune Fumble: Billionaire Dreams and Faux Employees 🌴💸

by

In what can only be described as the most delightful display of audacity since someone tried to sell the Brooklyn Bridge, a gentleman—who clearly fancied himself the star of a financial folie—has been caught red-handed. This modern-day Robin Hood, or perhaps just Robin Hood’s less charming cousin, managed to bilk the US government out of a cool \$13 million.

Meet Carl Delano Torjagbo of Georgia—an individual whose grasp of legality seemed to be as far-reaching as his understanding of the law’s grasp on him. He’s been slapped with charges of bank fraud, wire fraud, and money laundering, all because he thought fleecing America would be as easy as pocketing a handful of counterfeit gold dust from his imaginary African mine. He skillfully fabricated a \$9.6 million Payment Protection Program (PPP) loan and a \$3.4 million IRS refund, using more aliases and false Social Security numbers than a Hollywood actor trying to dodge paparazzi.

Apparently, our fraudster believed the IRS only checks one tax return at a time, as he submitted two in February 2021—each claiming vastly different identities, like a chameleon on steroids. All this deception was involved in claiming losses from his “African gold mine,” which evidently was as real as a unicorn in the Sahara. The result? A treasury check for \$3,366,240—proof that sometimes the government’s generosity exceeds its prudence.

But that’s not all—oh no, our ambitiously deluded friend then filed for the \$9.6 million PPP loan, listing 493 fictitious employees with names straight out of the Hollywood script—think Keanu Reeves and Jon Snow, working a mine in Ghana. I suppose he believed the US was hiring Shakespearian characters for corporate roles. Prosecutors say he then used his ill-gotten gains to indulge in the kind of extravagances that would make a rap star blush: nearly two million dollars on his mansion, a Lamborghini worthy of a superhero, an array of luxury vehicles, a yacht, and even some plastic surgery—just in case he needed a new nose after the fraud was uncovered.

His day of reckoning is set for November 3rd, and he might find himself in a maximum-security suite for up to 170 years—a fitting punishment for attempting to turn the American dream into a nightmare. Who knew fraud could be so… creative? 🤡💥

Read More

2025-08-04 14:21