The Absurd Saga of UK’s First Bitcoin Company and its 100 BTC Gamble

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In the shadowy corridors of capitalism, a peculiar venture has emerged-B HODL Plc., a humble UK treasury company, now clutching a mere hundred Bitcoin, as if clutching at straws in a storm. Who would have thought it? A circus of numbers with a market cap of $2.25 trillion, where volatility remains as unwavering as a madman’s rant-0.0%. It’s almost poetic, isn’t it? 🧐

They’ve announced, with a certain air of bravado, their purchase of one hundred Bitcoin-each piece bought at an average of $113,227, a sum that makes you wonder whether they’re gambling or just playing some grand game of Monopoly but with real money and no ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ cards.

Joining the Olympians of Cryptocurrency: Smarter Web and Satsuma, With 100 BTC

On September 24th, B HODL made its entrance into the sacred temple of Bitcoin treasury strategies-like a young monk nervously clutching his first relic, paying £83,872 per Bitcoin-about $113,227, as if to say, “Yes, this is the right price, I think.” All totaling around £8.4 million ($11.3 million), enough to buy a decent yacht or, more pragmatically, a lot of coffee to stay awake during these crypto rollercoasters.

And oh, how lofty! Now they sit among the top 100 public Bitcoin treasury companies-like a toddler claiming to be a knight, proud but painfully aware of giants around him. According to the wise sages at Bitcoin Treasuries, they rank 98th-so close to the bottom, yet proud. A humble brag for the ages.

Meanwhile, the titans-Smarter Web with 2,525 BTC (worth roughly $284.4 million), and Satsuma-aren’t just sitting idly. No, they’ve amassed holdings large enough to make B HODL look like a bright-eyed novice begging for crumbs. Satsuma, having accepted over 1,097 BTC in funding, is no mere amateur. Phoenix Digital Assets, with 247 BTC, lumbers in the background, like the distant thunder of a storm brewing.

So where does that leave our brave humble company? Still miles behind, copying the legendary Michael Saylor’s playbook, hoping to catch a glimpse of the giants and maybe, just maybe, pretend they’re not the clown in this crypto circus.

“The company,” they declare, with the solemn tone of a prophet, “remains committed to disciplined acquisition-building a long-term strategic reserve that also powers B HODL’s Lightning Network operations.” Ah, yes, the eternal quest of buying Bitcoin like a hamster running on a wheel-never really going anywhere but convincing oneself it’s all part of a grand plan.

The Treasure Trove: Strategy or Mirage?

As if plucking a rabbit out of a hat, the current leader in corporate Bitcoin holdings-an unnamed business intelligence giant-has amassed a staggering 639,835 BTC, valued around $72 billion. All in the pursuit of… what? Monopoly victory? Immortality? Or just that sweet, sweet feeling of having more Bitcoin than your neighbors? 🤔

At current prices hovering near $112,730, the market’s wild swings suggest that somewhere in the shadows, capital is busy holding the line against chaos. The cryptocurrency dance proceeds, with traders nervously eyeing every dip and rise-a never-ending game of patience, fate, and perhaps a hint of madness.

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2025-09-24 16:11