The $330M Bitcoin Drama That Launched Monero Into the Stratosphere 🚀

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Ah, what a delightful little dance we have here! Our ever-watchful on-chain detective, ZachXBT, has uncovered a curious transfer involving a mere 3,520 Bitcoin (BTC)—that’s $330.7 million, give or take a few million. How quaint! The transaction, reported on April 28, saw the funds whisked away from an unsuspecting victim’s wallet to the address bc1qcry…vz55g. It’s almost as if money just floats around like a butterfly, isn’t it?

And then, in a truly thrilling turn of events, the stolen loot was rapidly shuffled through over six different exchanges—because, you know, that’s what every law-abiding citizen does with $330 million—and converted into Monero (XMR). Yes, Monero, the cryptocurrency that loves to play hide-and-seek. Talk about a disappearing act! 🕵️‍♂️✨

This swift laundering operation caused a rather curious spectacle on the markets: Monero’s price shot up by a whopping 50%, reaching an intraday high of $339. How convenient! And, as if that wasn’t enough excitement for one day, it later settled slightly, still a hearty 25% higher than before, at a modest $289. So much for subtlety, eh?

When asked about the possibility of North Korea’s Lazarus Group being the masterminds behind this operation, ZachXBT scoffed (probably with a little too much flair) and said it was “highly probable it’s not.” Oh, the mystery deepens! Instead, he pointed to the possibility of independent hackers. Well, how terribly ordinary.

Criminals, They’re So Basic

In a chat with CryptoMoon, Chainalysis—a firm whose name sounds like a villain from a spy movie—revealed something truly shocking: Most criminals are still using the “boring” mainstream cryptocurrencies. Gasp! While some miscreants may be dabbling in privacy coins like Monero for that sweet anonymity, the majority prefer the more popular options, such as Bitcoin and Ethereum. After all, who doesn’t love a bit of liquidity and instant settlements, right? 💸

Chainalysis, ever the buzzkill, reminded us that while privacy coins offer “privacy” (and who doesn’t love a little mystery?), they come with a distinct disadvantage: not many exchanges will deal with them. Oh, Monero, always the outsider at the crypto party. But hey, it’s still quite the hot ticket among those who prefer their transactions to be as anonymous as their late-night snack habits.

The firm also made a point of telling us that, despite the supposed privacy, law enforcement still has its ways. Blockchain transparency, they claim, allows authorities to trace those pesky illicit funds. Oh, how cozy it must be to know that you can’t even hide in the shadows without someone finding you.

In an absolutely riveting revelation from 2024, a leaked Chainalysis video suggested that, despite Monero’s privacy claims, transactions could be traced. Apparently, the firm has its own “malicious” Monero nodes to help track such activities. How charmingly villainous! 🎩

Monero’s New Career as a Retail Darling

In case you were worried that Monero was relegated to the world of shady deals and dark alleys, fear not! Monero has been making strides in the retail world. Yes, you heard that right—Monero is now accepted at Spar supermarkets in Switzerland. What’s next? Paying for your organic cacao with a wink and a Monero? The Swiss, always ahead of the curve. 🛒

This delightful development is thanks to partnerships with DFX Swiss and OpenCryptoPay, making Monero a legitimate means of payment. Because who wouldn’t want to pay for groceries with a privacy coin that’s practically a spy in the blockchain world? A user shared their experience of buying organic cacao in Kreuzlingen. Truly, this is a revolution! 🍫

And let’s not forget Spar’s initial flirtation with the crypto market in April 2025, when they started accepting Bitcoin via the Lightning Network. It’s as if the world is catching on to the fact that cryptocurrencies are not just for the underworld—oh no, they’re for your grocery bills too!

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2025-04-28 13:00