Tether’s New Get-Rich-Slow Scheme: Bitcoin, Cows, and Way Too Much Electricity in Brazil

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What’s Going On (and Why You May Want to Buy a Cow):

  • Tether, that digital money thing your cousin swears is “just like cash, except nobody takes it,” is shacking up with Adecoagro in Brazil, brainstorming how to use leftover green energy to mine bitcoin instead of—oh, I don’t know—running a roller disco for cows.
  • Adecoagro, now 70% Tether’s “new best friend,” used to be known for wholesome things like food (rice, sugar, dairy) and vast amounts of energy, but now your risotto might taste faintly of blockchain.
  • Tether, always chasing new ways to impress their parents, now wants to become the largest bitcoin miner by December—because who needs sleep? They already murdered $2 billion on this high-voltage hobby. CEO Paolo Ardoino even said so in May, probably while nervously eyeing his electric bill.

In this season of “What Could Go Wrong?” Tether (yep, the folks behind that possibly stable coin USDT) are partnering up with South American agribusiness titan Adecoagro (think rice fields but with a side of Bitcoin FOMO) for a pilot project in Brazil.

Apparently, Adecoagro sometimes generates more electricity than they can feed to their cows or use to keep their sugar mills spinning. Solution? Plug in a bunch of bitcoin mining rigs and see what happens! Next up: adding a sprinkle of BTC to their official balance sheet, which should go great with mozzarella and agribusiness accounting.

In case you missed it, Tether now owns 70% of Adecoagro, which means they get to say things like “we have 230 megawatts of power” at dinner parties. It’s not just about electricity, though—they also have all the rice, sugar, and cows required for a very confusing birthday cake.

“This project opens the door to stabilizing a portion of the energy we currently sell on the spot market, locking in pricing, while also gaining exposure to the upside potential of bitcoin,” said Mariano Bosch, CEO of Adecoagro, who has clearly mastered the ancient art of making wild speculation sound totally reasonable.

Tether’s latest plans include a grand, open-source “Tether Mining OS” (assume Windows 95 with a bitcoin screensaver), because if you’re going to make a splash, you might as well rewrite the software and the rulebook.

Paolo Ardoino, still running on nothing but caffeine and vibes, announced at the Bitcoin 2025 conference that Tether will be the world’s biggest bitcoin miner by year’s end. They’ve launched $2 billion into the electricity/crypto meet-cute bonfire, so expect headlines—and maybe another “strategic partnership” with the local dairy goats. 🐄💰⛏️

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2025-07-03 19:25