tag, under 100 characters, clickbait, not repeated in the body. Also, retain images (though there are none in the original text), add humor and sarcasm, and use emojis.First, the title. The original title is “Crypto News Today [Live] Updates On November 5,2025”. It needs to be clickbait, shorter than 100 characters. Maybe something like “Crypto Chaos: Whales, Woes, and Where’s My Moon?” That’s catchy, uses emojis, and fits under 100 characters.Next, the body. The original has two sections: Crypto Crash Update and Ethereum Whale Activity. I need to rephrase these with humor and sarcasm.For the first section: “Crypto Crash Update” becomes something like “The Great Crypto Meltdown: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Downturn 🎉”. Use emojis, maybe sarcastic remarks about the market’s state. Mention ADL systems with a funny analogy, like “ADL (Auto-Dump-o-Matic)”.In the second section: “Ethereum Whale Activity Surges…” could be “Ethereum Whales: The Secret Sauce in Today’s Crypto Soup 🐋💸”. Use whale emojis, add humor about the whales’ activities. Maybe refer to Richard Heart as “a certain crypto enthusiast named Richard Heart (who, shockingly, hasn’t named a cryptocurrency after his spleen)” for sarcasm.Include emojis throughout to match the playful tone. Add phrases like “Plot twist!” or “Ah, the sweet, sweet irony 🎭” to inject humor. Make sure the dates and times are kept as they are but maybe add a quip about the time, like “because obviously, chaos prefers to strike before coffee time ☕”.Check for any tags or colors, ensure they’re not present. Verify that the title isn’t repeated in the body. Keep the structure with and tags as in the original. Also, ensure all original data points are retained but presented in a more humorous way.Finally, wrap everything in HTML tags, make sure the title is in the tag, and no markdown is used. Let me review to ensure compliance with all user instructions.End of Thought (16.88s) Crypto Chaos: Whales, Woes, and Where’s My Moon? 🚀November 5, 2025 05:20:22 UTC – Because obviously, chaos prefers to strike before coffee time ☕The Great Crypto Meltdown: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Downturn 🎉Remember that thrilling October 10 liquidation event? Yeah, it’s still haunting the market like a bad Tinder date. Traders who survived are now ghosting their positions faster than you can say “margin call.” Those clever delta-neutral strategies-aka “I’ll hold this forever unless physics says otherwise”-backfired when ADL systems (Auto-Dump-o-Matic™️) decided to play Jenga with their portfolios. The result? A price action so weak, it’s basically whispering, “I give up.” But hey, at least the sellers are getting tired. Now we just need buyers brave enough to waltz into this dumpster fire. 💃🕺November 5, 2025 05:20:22 UTC – Because history loves repeating itselfEthereum Whales: The Secret Sauce in Today’s Crypto Soup 🐋💸Plot twist! Ethereum whales aren’t just swimming-they’re panic-buying like it’s 1999 and the internet just invented itself. A certain crypto enthusiast named Richard Heart (who, shockingly, hasn’t named a cryptocurrency after his spleen) shuffled 27,449 ETH through Tornado Cash. Meanwhile, another whale repaid a 66,000 ETH loan, then yanked out $111.6M from Binance-presumably to buy more dips than a salsa bar. And let’s not forget Bitmine’s new wallet, which casually swiped $32.72M from Kraken. Because nothing says “stable market” like billionaires playing hot potato with ETH. 🎾