South Korea’s Crypto Stablecoin Craze Hits Records—Are They All Moving to the Bahamas?

So get this: South Korea’s crypto crowd just shipped 57 trillion won overseas in the first quarter alone. Yeah, trillion. Is there some sort of tax-free utopia out there I don’t know about? Because these people are fleeing faster than me at a birthday party for someone I barely know. And almost half the money? Stablecoins! You know, the ones that are supposed to be, what—stable? Go figure! 😂

Turns out, every time someone wires a gazillion won to Binance or Bybit, there’s a pretty good chance it’s in Tether or USDC. Min Byung-duk from the Democratic Party (huge crypto guy, apparently) says stablecoins made up 47.3% of outflows—almost 27 trillion won. If I find out my neighbor sent his kid’s college fund in Tether, I’m done. No more block parties. 🤦‍♂️

But don’t worry! In March things slowed down. Suddenly everyone’s like, “Eh, maybe stablecoins aren’t the answer to everything—maybe I’ll just keep my money under the mattress with my old lottery tickets.” Classic move.

In case you thought it’s just your cousin Kevin doing this—no. As of February, 16 million Koreans have crypto accounts. Sixteen million. That’s a third of the whole country. Pretty soon, if you don’t have a crypto account, do you even exist? It’s like not having an email address in 1997. Absurd!

And it’s not just random folks, either. The politicians are in on it! Seriously—411 out of 2,047 public officials reported holding crypto. That’s almost 20%. The Secretary General of the Labor-Management Development Foundation has crypto. The President of the National Police University has crypto! I bet even the guy who decides how many parking meters there should be—has crypto. What’s next? My Aunt Susan’s cat has Dogecoin? 🐈‍⬛💸
But hey, what do I know? I just hope someone remembers their password, or we’re all outta luck.

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2025-05-08 12:24