In a conversation that soared from the dismal vistas of economics to the lurid jungles of meme-coins, Mr. Joe McCann — a veteran trader and, one shudders to admit, an Asymmetric founder — has pronounced his crypto gospel. Lo and behold! Bitcoin, that most golden of digital toys, is apparently destined for a “high six-figure range.” Solana, meanwhile, has been anointed “the fastest horse,” and Ethereum is now the crypto world’s equivalent of an aging Victorian aunt — much adored at family gatherings, but best left out of one’s investment portfolio.
Bitcoin: The Promised Land at $400,000 (Where the Streets Are Paved with Hash)
McCann, with the gravity of a man who has recently discovered champagne at breakfast, declared the infamous “four-year cycle” about as useful as a pocket square in a tsunami. The new kingmakers? Institutional flows so hallowed, they make gold’s devotees look like hobbyist magpies.
With sovereign funds and pensioners flocking to Bitcoin, the supply remains “absolutely capped”—rather unlike political promises or consumer debt. The world, it seems, is unraveling at the seams, so why not bet on a number that’s more abstract than the concept of British punctuality?
“If Mr. Trump restrains himself from regulating everything that moves, or manages to nap through tariff meetings, we may well see Bitcoin do pirouettes straight to $400,000,” McCann hints. It’s less about time, more about vibes—and, naturally, about flows. Such drama!
Still, as gold rallies with all the subtlety of an over-caffeinated peacock, there remains a digital-gold narrative just itching to be believed. Should Bitcoin surge above $100,000, we might expect it to leap to $400,000 faster than you can say “strategic reserve purchase”—or at least before the next Senator Lummis proposal is forgotten in committee.
Bitcoin To $400K, Solana To $420, Ethereum Not Worth Owning | @joemccann
0:00 Existential Angst
2:27 Trump Plays the Markets Like a Banjo
5:11 Crypto Gets a Makeover
8:30 Gold and Bitcoin Enter an Awkward Dance
13:22 Correlate This!
16:16 Digital Goldstravaganza
19:06 Trump, Again (Because Who Else?)
23:18 Meme Coins and Tears— The Wolf Of All Streets (@scottmelker), May 11, 2025
Solana Ascends; Ethereum Reads the Obituaries 📈⚰️
If Bitcoin is McCann’s matrimonial vow, Solana is clearly his weekend fling. He lauds the chain for withstanding the “Trump-branded meme-coin launch” without so much as a hiccup—truly the stuff of technological romance—and credits wallet abstractions for exiling last cycle’s user-experience woes to the land of forgotten Myspace passwords.
“When the most popular gentleman on the blue planet launches a meme-coin on Solana, it is a sign, my dear, that the infrastructure is ready for mass society—and possibly for intergalactic expansion.”
With ETFs sprouting in Canada and eager Americans lining up for a taste, McCann sets Solana’s value, with poetic commitment, at $420. It’s at this point that one wonders: Is he merely a trader, or Solana’s secret PR poet?
In contrast, his lone existential short is Ethereum. It was once innovative—a veritable Wildean dandy—but has now been “cannibalized by its own L2s.” Fee revenue is so modest as to make Victorian orphans look like trust-fund recipients. Institutions, he concludes, much prefer tokens with actual cash-flow or those politely lodged inside an ETF—neither of which describes ETH in its present state of gentle decay.
“The asset is not worth owning,” he sighs, as though discussing the inheritance of a haunted mansion. “When Ethereum briefly rises, sell everything and book a holiday.”
McCann doubts we’ll see those indiscriminate alt-seasons of old—the ones that left investors rich and confused. Liquidity now divides itself with all the selectivity of a Mayfair guest list: Bitcoin ETFs for the suited, meme-coins for the brash, and the rest may fight over scraps of protocol revenue, or else face the existential threat of irrelevance. The looming future: boomer-friendly crypto ETFs promising dividends, and a great many tokens “trading to zero,” which must surely be the final word in Wildean pathos.
As of this moment, Bitcoin sits at $104,528—proof that in the theatre of finance, the show is never over, just increasingly absurd.
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2025-05-12 16:59