Right then, listen up! This financial technology firm, Janover – sounds a bit like “hangover,” doesn’t it? 😂 – has gone and bought a whopping great pile of those Solana tokens. 80,567 of ’em, to be precise. Cost ’em a pretty penny, about $10.5 million, if you must know. Honestly, what are they playing at?
Now, get this! According to some fancy announcement (April 15th, mark it in your calendars!), Janover’s now got a grand total of 163,651.7 Solana thingamajigs. Apparently, they’re worth about $21.2 million, including some sort of “staking rewards.” Sounds like a lottery to me. 🤪 Anyway, each share is now swimming in 0.11 SOL, valued at $14.47 – a 120% increase, they say. Blimey!
Janover, in their infinite wisdom, plan to start “staking” these newly acquired SOLs straight away. Something about generating more dosh. This all comes after they raised a colossal $42 million to, and I quote, “enhance its digital asset treasury strategy.” Honestly, it all sounds like something out of a James Bond film! 🕵️♂️
This enormous pile of cash came from a “convertible note and warrants sale” (whatever that is!) from a bunch of important-sounding companies with names like Pantera Capital and Kraken. And get this, a gang of ex-Kraken bigwigs have taken over the whole shebang! It’s a right royal takeover!
This Joseph Onorati chap, used to be Chief Strategy Officer at Kraken, is now the big cheese at Janover. All thanks to the group’s purchase of over 700,000 common shares and all the Series A preferred stock. Cor blimey, my head’s spinning! 😵💫
Altcoins on the balance sheet? What rot!
Janover, bless their cotton socks, is the latest company to stuff digital assets into their corporate treasure chest. What makes them a bit bonkers, though, is that they’ve gone for Solana instead of Bitcoin. It’s like choosing Brussels sprouts over chocolate! 🤢
The most famous example of a Bitcoin hoarder is Strategy (used to be called MicroStrategy). They’re a publicly traded company, founded way back in 1989. Blimey, that’s old!
In 2020, they decided to grab as much Bitcoin as humanly possible. Now, they own over 2.5% of all the Bitcoin that’ll ever be made. Greedy lot! 😈
Bitcoin dominates balance sheets – as it should!
Some website, BitcoinTreasuries.NET, says that Strategy holds 528,185 BTC, worth nearly $44.2 billion at the time of writing. They even borrowed money to buy more Bitcoin! Now that’s dedication… or madness! 🤪
Another company that’s gone Bitcoin-crazy is Metaplanet, often called “Japan’s MicroStrategy.” Both companies are using Bitcoin as a hedge against inflation and to “modernize” their treasuries. Sounds like a load of old baloney to me! 🤡
Some so-called “analysts” reckon this strategy will pay off soon. Apparently, Bitcoin is becoming more resistant to economic problems than traditional markets. But not everyone’s convinced. This Alex Obchakevich chap from Obchakevich Research (try saying that five times fast!) says:
“As the trade war intensifies, Bitcoin may return to the list of risky assets. Because investors will most likely look for salvation in gold.”
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2025-04-16 17:19