SEC Throws Solana ETF Into Bureaucratic Soup—Regulatory Shocks Await!

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You, dear reader, may be under the impression that investing is for the agile and the swift. Ha! Prepare your patience and your samovar, for Fidelity’s Solana ETF, having squeezed itself with difficulty through the revolving door of the Cboe BZX Exchange, now finds itself in the endless corridor of American officialdom. The noble review process has begun—wherein noble men and women in Washington summon the populace to less of a conversation and more a 21-day game of bureaucratic charades. And lo! The answers, if forthcoming at all, should arrive before any of us has time to lose more rubles in the market.

The SEC, always eager for correspondence that will never be read, requests rebuttals within 35 days. An army of analysts from Bloomberg like James Seyffart, mouths pursed like over-boiled dumplings, nod with solemnity: “But of course, the SEC is about as ready for Solana as an old auntie is for TikTok.” No shock here—if it isn’t Bitcoin or Ethereum, regulators eye it like soup with suspicious meat floating inside.

Meanwhile, the SEC, in a fit of productivity probably triggered by an over-strong cup of tea, issues its first crypto ETF guidance. 🎉 One imagines a gathering of bureaucrats, pens raised heroically, inscribing on parchment the immortal words: “Explain risk. Use small words.” Future ETF hopefuls must now describe fund structures in the dulcet tones of a bedtime story. Will this help Solana’s cause? No more likely than a goat will sing in the opera, my friend.

Not wanting to be outdone by their own inertia, the SEC is also tinkering with a separate rule change. The whispers in the marketplace are fantastic—approval timelines could drop from more than 200 days to a sprightly 75. Yes, merely the gestation period of a winter beard rather than that of a family of hedgehogs! But for now, Solana and its ETF peers lounge in limbo, exchanging existential poetry with Dogecoin and friends.

And while the rest count bureaucratic ceiling tiles, a few enterprising souls have circumnavigated the moat! Last week, REX Financial and Osprey Funds birthed the REX-Osprey Sol + Staking ETF—a hybrid so complex even Pushkin would set down his quill. Investors get indirect exposure to Solana and its staking bounty, managing to dodge the entire regulatory orchestra for now. One imagines the SEC waggling its finger sternly—but with a twinkle in the eye. Oh, to live in such times! 🚀🥟

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2025-07-08 11:29