SEC Chief Mocks Crypto Slump: ‘Don’t Panic, Just Suffer’

by

In the shadow of the market’s collapse, where the dreams of the desperate turn to dust, the chief of the SEC, a man who speaks as if the market were a child, declared that regulators must not weep over the falling price of digital gold. Oh, the irony! The very guardians of the system, who once roared with the fury of a thousand subpoenas, now whisper, “Calm down, little ones, the numbers will rise again-probably.”

The SEC, that venerable institution of bureaucratic serenity, has chosen not to chase the whims of the market, but to craft rules so intricate, they could rival the labyrinth of Minos. “The daily swings of the markets are not our concern,” he said, as if the stock of the poor were not tied to the whims of the wealthy. “People who fixate on the number always going up are doomed to disappointment,” he warned, as if the market were a fickle lover, not a machine of greed.

Regulators Address Market Downturn With Policy Agenda

At a gathering of crypto enthusiasts, where the air was thick with the scent of hope and the taste of despair, the SEC’s leader spoke of structural rulemaking, as if the market’s agony were a puzzle to be solved by the stroke of a pen. “We must build frameworks for tokenized securities,” he said, as if the poor were not already drowning in the tide of speculation.

“It is not the regulator’s job to worry about the daily swings of the markets,” Atkins said. “People whose only focus is on the number always going up are likely to be disappointed.”

Meanwhile, the market slumped like a drunkard at a funeral, Bitcoin teetering near $66,000, while Ripple’s XRP fell like a stone into the void. Analysts, those prophets of the financial world, watched the $60,000 line as if it were the last hope of a dying man. Yet the SEC, ever the stoic, offered no balm, only more rules.

But rather than address the pain of the people, the SEC’s leader spoke of “Project Crypto,” a joint effort with the CFTC, as if the two were partners in a dance of bureaucracy. The agenda included frameworks for crypto classification, rules for trading on automated market makers, and guidance on custody for stablecoins-words so grand, they could fool the naive into thinking something was being done.

Building a Framework Beyond Market Cycles

The SEC’s approach, a deliberate shift from the enforcement-heavy tactics of yore, now resembles a bureaucrat’s dance-slow, calculated, and utterly devoid of compassion. Atkins noted that the agency had dropped cases, ended “regulation by enforcement,” and issued guidance on mining, staking, and meme coins, as if these were acts of mercy.

Commissioner Peirce, ever the optimist, claimed the downturn was an opportunity for “builders.” “Numbers go down is the mantra of the moment,” she said, as if the suffering of the people were a song to be sung. “Critics are engaging in Schadenfreude,” she added, as if the poor were not the ones bearing the brunt of the crisis.

“You have to build stuff that people want and need,” Peirce said. “That is the best way to garner support on both sides of the aisle in Washington.”

Atkins, ever the visionary, urged developers to “come in and talk to us,” promising an “innovation exemption” for tokenized securities. A temporary reprieve, designed to let the market “experiment” while the SEC drowns in paperwork. “Put your nose to the grindstone and work to build things that matter,” he said, as if the grindstone were a path to salvation.

“That is how you transform Schadenfreude to Freudenfreude-the sense of happiness we feel when others succeed.”

And so, the SEC, that paragon of wisdom, continues its work, offering no solace, only more rules. The people, their hopes dashed, are left to wonder: Will the market rise again, or will the SEC’s promises be as empty as the pockets of the desperate?

Read More

2026-02-20 01:16