SEC Boss With Millions?! You Won’t Believe Who Approved This 🤯

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Atkins, that old SEC buddy from 2002 to 2008 (bless his heart), is back on the scene thanks to President Donald Trump, who apparently just can’t get enough of re-hiring the greatest hits. 🍿

His triumphant return comes amid a delightful little cocktail of staffing shortages and a “tighten those belts or else” budget approach. The Trump administration’s cost-cutting efforts have already sent 200,000 agency jobs packing—faster than you can say “corporate synergy.”

Meanwhile, Atkins (famed for being super friendly to business folks and keeping an eye on those crypto coins) is giving a big thumbs-up to trimming all that pesky red tape. He’s even partnering with everyone’s favorite DOGE—the Department of Government Efficiency—to help the SEC hold a cutting party. ✂️

Naturally, not everyone’s swooning. Senator Elizabeth Warren has been more suspicious than a cat locked in a room full of rocking chairs, calling out Atkins’ 2008 financial crisis moves as questionable. Who knew oversharing about your past might come back to bite you? 🙃

In case you’re wondering if Atkins can afford a celebratory pizza, worry not. He and his spouse have assets in that sweet spot of $328 million to $589 million. But hey, the administration says they’ve double-checked all the paperwork. So, you know, nothing to see here, folks. 😇

Now that he’s in the big chair, Atkins aims to crank up that deregulation dial and wave pom-poms for capital formation, presumably to keep the administration’s grand economic plan moving with all the subtlety of a marching band—complete with awkward baton twirling. 🤹

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2025-04-10 03:52