Ripple CEO’s XRP Card, BlackRock’s ETH Hoax & Doge’s Binance Blunder 🐶💸

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Ripple CEO flaunts new Gemini XRP card

Brad Garlinghouse, the man who once asked, “What if money was a thing you could… *pay* in?” has now taken to social media to show off his latest accessory: a credit card that rewards you with 4% cash back in XRP. Because nothing says “financial innovation” like a plastic rectangle that makes you feel vaguely guilty about spending money. 🎉

  • Ripple CEO joins in. Garlinghouse showcased his card on social media, because nothing says “trust me” like a CEO holding up a piece of plastic and hoping the camera doesn’t catch the typo on the back.

Gemini, the exchange that’s still trying to prove it’s not just the Winklevoss twins in a Bitcoin cosplay, released the XRP card alongside a press release that read like a product description written by a sleep-deprived intern. The community, however, responded with the enthusiasm of a cat watching a washing machine-confused, mildly amused, and ready to leave. 🐱

  • Community reaction. Despite the hype, reception among XRP holders was lukewarm. Like ordering a hot chocolate in July and then wondering why it’s lukewarm.

The card’s U.S.-only exclusivity has also sparked debates about whether it’s the first credit card designed to work only in a country that still uses inches and Fahrenheit. Meanwhile, David Schwartz of Ripple posted a photo of himself holding the card, an XRP shirt, and a cup of coffee at XRPresso. One can only imagine the existential crisis that led to the name “XRPresso.” ☕

BlackRock snaps up $314 million in Ethereum despite crypto market dip

Institutional interest in Ethereum remains strong, because nothing says “I’m not a robot” like buying $314 million worth of ETH while the rest of the market panics like it’s 2008 all over again. 🏦

  • Institutional move. BlackRock purchased $314 million worth of ETH on Aug. 26. One wonders if they’re trying to buy the entire blockchain or just the most expensive parking spot in crypto.

While Ethereum’s price floundered like a goldfish in a hurricane, BlackRock calmly added to its stash. According to Arkham Intelligence Firm, this move was as subtle as a troll in a tax audit. The timing? Perfectly timed to make everyone question whether the market is in a slump or just taking a nap. 😴

  • Ethereum ETF rise. BlackRock’s iShares Ethereum ETF continues to lead institutional adoption. It’s like the crypto version of a slow, steady drip: either it’s a wise investment or a trap for the unwary. Pick your poison.

Whale sends $106M in DOGE to Binance

Dogecoin whale stacks up 800 million DOGE on Binance. Because nothing says “I’ve got nothing to hide” like sending $106 million to the world’s biggest crypto exchange in a single transaction. 🐳

  • Market concern. Large inflows to exchanges often spark speculation about a potential sell-off or liquidity shift. Or maybe it’s just someone who finally paid their taxes in DOGE.

500 million DOGE-equivalent to $106 million-was sent to Binance’s hot wallet like a digital “Here’s Johnny!” moment. The crypto community is now debating whether this is a liquidity move, a prelude to a sell-off, or just a particularly enthusiastic investor who decided to play “hot potato” with a trillion-dollar asset. 🍟

  • Binance impact. With this transaction, Binance’s DOGE wallet now exceeds 820M DOGE. It’s like the exchange just bought a petting zoo and named it “Dogecoin.” 🐶

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2025-08-27 22:45