Quantum Computers vs Bitcoin: The Hilarious Showdown You Didn’t Know You Needed! 😂

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In a delightful twist of fate, the illustrious Graham Cooke, a veritable sage from the hallowed halls of Google, has declared that Bitcoin, that audacious digital rogue, is not presently in peril from the looming specter of quantum computing. How quaint! 🧐

“Your wallet’s math is stronger than the fabric of spacetime itself,” he proclaimed with a flourish on the grand stage of social media, as if he were a bard reciting verses of old.

Google’s Majorana 1 Breakthrough: A Quantum Comedy of Errors

As reported by the ever-watchful U.Today, a delightful panic ensued within the cryptocurrency community following the grand unveiling of Microsoft’s Majorana 1 quantum chip, a contraption that could potentially scale to a million qubits. Oh, the drama! 🎭

This marvel was birthed from a novel material known as a “topoconductor,” a term that sounds like it was plucked from the pages of a science fiction novel, and was crafted with the utmost care by the wizards at Microsoft.

Some Bitcoin enthusiasts, bless their hearts, were concerned that such a formidable machine could crack the very addresses of Bitcoin itself. How charmingly naive! 😅

“Regular qubits lose their quantum state from the slightest disturbance. Microsoft’s are like knots in rubber bands-stretch and twist, but the knot remains. This stability means quantum computers could scale to millions of qubits,” Cooke mused, as if he were discussing the merits of fine wine.

In the midst of this quantum hullabaloo, other recent developments, such as Google’s Willow and IBM’s Blue Jay, have sparked lively debates about the long-term viability of Bitcoin’s cryptographic security. A veritable feast for the intellect! 🍷

Don’t Underestimate Math: The Unsung Hero

Cooke, now the chief executive officer at the blockchain startup Brava Labs, insists that those who dare to doubt the robustness of Bitcoin’s security “massively underestimate” the miracle of mathematics that guards these digital treasures. How delightfully audacious! 🤓

Even as quantum computing gallops ahead at a pace that would make a cheetah blush, the math securing one’s crypto wallet is more powerful than most mortals can fathom. A single Bitcoin seed phrase, he notes, contains more keys than there are stars in all the galaxies. A 24-word seed phrase would require a staggering 340 septillion trillion more combinations than a mere 12-word phrase. Who knew math could be so entertaining? 🤯

To crack your seed phrase, imagine this:

8 billion people. Each with a billion supercomputers.
Each trying a billion combinations per second.

Time needed? Over 10^40 years:

– GC Cooke (@GCcookeHQ) August 11, 2025

“The universe has existed for only 14 billion years. You’d need to restart the universe a trillion trillion times to get close,” Cooke quipped, as if he were delivering the punchline to the greatest cosmic joke ever told. 🌌

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2025-08-11 22:17