Dear Lisbon, it appears the authorities have finally succumbed to the seductive waltz of panic, as they prepare to sever ties with Polymarket following a rather unsavory tango of pre-election wagers.
One might imagine the clinking of champagne flutes amidst the chaos, as millions of euros fluttered like confused moths toward the presidential ballot box-long before the ink had even dried on the results.
Polymarket: A Love Affair With Illegality
The Gambling Regulation and Inspection Service (SRIJ), that most austere of Portuguese functionaries, has declared Polymarket a rogue suitor, operating in direct contravention of the nation’s laws, which frown upon betting on political spectacles with the vigor of a scolded parrot.
Polymarket was granted a mere 48 hours-a brief interlude of civility-to abandon its flirtations with Portuguese users. Alas, it lingered, prompting SRIJ to summon the internet providers like a hostess ejecting an unwelcome guest from a dinner party.
The spotlight, of course, fell upon Polymarket when bets swelled with the enthusiasm of a jazz band at a funeral, particularly in the final hours before the polls closed. Over €4 million was wagered in a frenzy, while the grand total for the presidential market now exceeds $120 million-proof that optimism is a currency more valuable than cash.
António José Seguro’s odds, once a modest 60%, ascended to near-infallibility by evening, as if whispered prophecies had seeped from the very walls of polling stations. One might suspect a leak-or perhaps the ghosts of exit polls past.
Such meteoric shifts have naturally ignited whispers of impropriety. Was it insider knowledge? A clandestine hotline to the ballot boxes? Or merely the work of a particularly prescient octopus? The mystery, of course, is the real prize.
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2026-01-20 15:31