Pakistan’s Crypto Gambit: Will Global Giants Bite? 🚨

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Pakistan, ever the master of bureaucratic ballet, has flung open its gates to international crypto firms with the enthusiasm of a man offering a camel to a desert. The Pakistan Virtual Asset Regulatory Authority (PVARA), a name that sounds like it belongs in a spy novel, now invites global crypto titans to apply for licenses-provided they’ve already been vetted by regulators with more letters than sense (SEC, FCA, etc.).

As reported by Dawn, PVARA’s latest missive is an “Expression of Interest” (EoI) that reads like a job application for a Bond villain. Bilal bin Saqib, PVARA’s chair and crypto minister, declared it a chance to “build a transparent and inclusive digital financial future.” One suspects the “transparent” part is code for “we’ll make it up as we go.”

Eligibility? Only firms with licenses from regulators who’ve mastered the art of alphabet soup. No room for rogue startups or crypto enthusiasts who forgot their socks. Just the usual suspects: SEC, UK FCA, EU, UAE, and Singapore’s Monetary Authority. Because nothing says “trust” like a stamp from a government that still uses fax machines.

Pakistan’s Regulatory Rubik’s Cube 🤷♂️

Applicants must submit profiles, licenses, and a detailed plan for services like trading, custody, and payments. Oh, and they must include “technology and security standards” (a term as vague as a politician’s promise) and a “Pakistan-specific business model.” One wonders if “Pakistan-specific” means “avoiding corruption” or “learning how to bribe efficiently.”

PVARA promises to “curb illicit finance” while “unlocking fintech, remittance, and tokenization opportunities.” A bold claim, considering the country’s current economic situation resembles a three-card monte game. The framework also includes Shariah-compliant products via regulatory sandboxes-because nothing says “financial revolution” like a sandbox.

Established under the Virtual Assets Ordinance 2025, PVARA now has the noble task of licensing, regulating, and supervising VASPs. One suspects the real job is just collecting fees and pretending to understand blockchain.

Pakistan Climbs Crypto Ladder 🚀

According to Chainalysis’ 2025 report, Pakistan now ranks third in global crypto adoption, a feat that’s less impressive when you consider the competition. The country’s surge in crypto use is likely due to citizens realizing that fiat currency is about as reliable as a sieve. In May, Pakistan announced a government-led Bitcoin Strategic Reserve, a move that sounds like a meme but is actually a policy. Bilal Bin Saqib, ever the showman, declared it a “pro-crypto regulatory approach,” a phrase that now rhymes with “desperate for attention.”

Pakistan also plans to allocate 2,000 megawatts of surplus electricity for Bitcoin mining and AI centers. A brilliant idea, assuming the electricity is real and not just a hallucination from the Ministry of Finance. Unfortunately, the IMF raised an eyebrow at this plan, rejecting subsidized power for crypto miners. Because nothing says “economic stability” like giving free electricity to energy vampires.

And so, Pakistan dances between visionary and delusional, all while the world watches with a mix of pity and mild amusement. 🤡

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2025-09-14 10:56