Blockspace Media has swept Bitcoin Layers off its cold, data-crunching feet 💼💍-in what can only be described as the most romantic corporate acquisition since someone finally figured out how to make crypto announcements sound like actual news.
So, picture this: New York. January 19, 2026. Snow? Probably not, it’s crypto bro weather-dry, overpriced coffee, and men in Patagonia vests pretending they understand blockchain layers. 🥶☕ Blockspace Media, in a bold move that shocked absolutely no one who was paying attention, announced they’ve acquired Bitcoin Layers-a scrappy little David in a world full of Goliaths who still can’t explain what an L2 actually does without using the word “synergy” three times.
The plan? To integrate all that juicy Bitcoin layer 2 (L2) data-because yes, Bitcoin now has layers, like an emotional onion 🧅-into Blockspace’s upcoming dashboard. Think of it as MySpace for blockchain metrics, but somehow more addictive. They’re launching with a sizzling stat: 361,830.29 BTC (that’s over $34.5 billion, in case you’re bad at math or live in Venezuela) locked across bridges, L2s, and scaling platforms. As of January 14. Because 2025 is SO over. ✌️
And the plot thickens! Janusz-the mysterious, probably hoodie-wearing (we assume) maintainer of Bitcoin Layers-is staying on as an advisor. So it’s not a hostile takeover, it’s… a friendly integration. Like when your indie band gets signed but promises they’ll “stay true to the art.” 🤭🎸
Blockspace isn’t stopping there. No, no. They’re coming for the whole enchilada-planning to add metrics for equities, ETFs, and other Bitcoin-adjacent assets (because, clearly, one financial rollercoaster wasn’t enough). They’ll be showing off their new “baby” at OPNEXT in New York on April 16, 2026. RSVP: Probably full of people who unironically say “I’m bullish on this ecosystem.” 🙄📈
🧭 FAQs (Because Obviously You Have Questions)
• Who acquired Bitcoin Layers and when? Blockspace Media, on January 19, 2026. In New York. In the snow. (Okay, maybe not the snow. But the drama? Palpable. ❄️😏)
• What data will be integrated into Blockspace’s offerings? All your favorite Bitcoin L2 tea-adoption stats and TVL (that’s Total Value Locked, for the normies) is now getting a glamorous new home in Blockspace’s dashboard. 💃📊
• How much Bitcoin is reported locked in L2s and bridges? A cool 361,830.29 BTC-over $34.5 billion. That’s like 6 million avocado toasts. 🥑😂
• Will Blockspace continue Bitcoin Layers’ operations and support? Yes! Janusz lives to fight another day (as an advisor). The dream dies slowly, people. 🕯️🖤
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2026-01-20 09:58