OceanPal’s $120M Gamble: NEAR Tokens & AI Shenanigans!

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OceanPal, a Nasdaq-listed outfit that’s either boldly pioneering the future or just chasing the next shiny trinket, has managed to rustle up a tidy sum of $120 million through a private investment deal. Their grand plan? Launching SovereignAI, a subsidiary so ambitious it’s practically writing its own Wikipedia page already. 🚀

According to a Tuesday announcement that probably involved a lot of handshakes and champagne flutes, SovereignAI plans to dive headfirst into the crypto treasury game. Their target? Up to 10% of the NEAR (NEAR) token supply. Partnering with the NEAR Foundation, OceanPal now bills itself as the “public vehicle” for NEAR tokens-though whether that’s a stagecoach or a runaway train remains to be seen. 🎰

The partnership, they claim, is rooted in a shared vision of “universal AI sovereignty.” Sounds noble! Though one wonders if that’s a euphemism for “let’s get rich before the next gold rush fizzles out.” 💰

NEAR, for the uninitiated, is a blockchain launched in 2020 that lets AI apps play nice with each other. It’s like a digital playground where robots can swing on monkey bars and trade Monopoly money. 🤖

Meanwhile, OceanPal’s leadership shuffle reads like a Wall Street casting call: Sal Ternullo, a fellow who once navigated the treacherous waters of State Street, now co-CEO, and David Schwed-formerly of BNY Mellon, Galaxy, and Robinhood-acting as COO. Next they’ll tell us Davy Crockett is their cybersecurity consultant. 🤠

On the SovereignAI advisory board, Illia Polosukhin (NEAR’s co-founder) will rub elbows with Richard Muirhead of Fabric Ventures and Lukasz Kaiser of OpenAI. It’s like the Avengers of blockchain, if the Avengers occasionally forgot how blockchains worked. 🦸

AI Agents: The New Kids on the Blockchain

AI agents-those pesky digital Huck Finns-are now elbow-deep in crypto, using blockchains to manage assets and throw virtual block parties. 🎉

In September, Coinbase’s John D’Agostino declared crypto “essential” for AI agents. Because nothing says “financial revolution” like robots trading Dogecoin. 🐕

Cloudflare, not to be outdone, announced a stablecoin called NET Dollar. It’s like Monopoly money, but with more jargon. 🏦

Dune Analytics recently spotted Coinbase’s AI payments protocol surging 10,000% in transactions. That’s either brilliance or a typo. 📈

Two Coinbase devs mused in August that AI agents might soon “dominate” Ethereum. Spoiler: They’re already suing the developers for defamation. 😅

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2025-10-29 01:43