North Korea’s Crypto Heist: UK Firm Collapses! 💸🔥

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You know what they say about crypto? It’s like a treasure map, but the treasure is stolen by a country that’s basically a villain in a James Bond movie. North Korea’s Lazarus Group allegedly pulled off a £17m crypto heist so smooth, even the UK’s financial regulators are like, “Wait, did we just get robbed by a 1980s Cold War relic?”

Lykke, the UK-registered crypto platform, was basically the financial equivalent of a “buy now, pay later” promise that never materialized. After 70+ customer complaints, the court said, “Nope, you’re done,” and the company went down faster than a TikTok trend. Spoiler: They never reimbursed anyone. 🤡

The Lazarus Group? They’re like the cyber version of a con artist with a PhD in hacking. They siphoned Bitcoin and Ethereum like it was a buffet, and then used unregulated exchanges to make it look like a game of “Where’s Waldo?” with money laundering. The UK Treasury’s Office of Financial Sanctions Implementation is basically saying, “We’re not sure, but we’re sure it’s them.” 🤷‍♀️

Meanwhile, Richard Olsen (yes, the Swiss Baer descendant) tried to sell Lykke as the “no fees” unicorn of crypto. But the FCA said, “Nice try, but you’re not licensed to play.” So they shut down, froze accounts, and left users with a £5.7m hole in their wallets. Because nothing says “trust” like a crypto platform that’s basically a magician who never actually pulls the rabbit out of the hat.

And let’s not forget North Korea’s latest “innovation”: hacking with fake identities and mainstream tech. It’s like they’re trying to be the first country to win a Nobel Prize for “Most Likely to Cause Chaos.” 🌍🤖

In a world where trust is traded like crypto, Lykke’s collapse is a reminder: If it sounds too good to be true, it’s probably a North Korean hacker’s idea of a vacation. 🚀

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2025-08-18 12:21