Michael Saylor’s Bitcoin Bonanza: $980M Spent Amid Market Meltdown 😂

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In a masterstroke of financial audacity, Michael Saylor’s eccentric treasury firm, Strategy, has plowed $980.3 million into Bitcoin (BTC) while the crypto market languishes like a deflated soufflé. One might call it “buying the dip”-or, as the British would say, “investing in a fire sale.”

The acquisition? A mere 10,645 BTC at $92,098 apiece, because why not spend a small fortune on digital ledger entries when you can? Strategy (MSTR), now the self-proclaimed “King of the Hill” with 671,268 BTC, has splurged a grand total of $50.33 billion-proof that if you can’t beat the market, outspend it. 🤑

Mr. Saylor, ever the optimist, boasts a 24.9% BTC yield this year, though one wonders if this is measured in cash or existential satisfaction. As the world’s largest corporate BTC hoarder, he’s also the first to declare digital coins as “treasury assets,” a term we’re choosing to believe is not a euphemism for tax evasion. 🚀

Meanwhile, MSTR shares have taken a nosedive, plummeting 16.8% in a month-a reminder that even the most bullish visions can falter when your stock behaves like a yo-yo. Yet Saylor remains undeterred, predicting Bitcoin will soar to $1 million “because winter’s not coming back… or something.” 🌡️

His rationale? The Trump Administration’s “crypto-friendly” policies and the revelation that only 450 BTC per day are up for grabs. “If $50 million is bought daily,” he declared, “the price has to move up to find any seller that’s price sensitive.” Translation: Hope for the best, pray for gullibility. 🎩

BTC currently trades at $85,731, down 3.5% in 24 hours-a modest dip, perhaps, for a currency destined for stratospheric heights. Or, as Waugh might quip, “a mere trifle before the inevitable crash into fiscal oblivion.” 💸

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2025-12-15 23:59